


Through the Dark

by Aislynnyume, makenai_kokoro



Series: Truly, Madly, Deeply [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Don't read if you don't like Narry, F/M, I'll add more warnings later if I think of them, Kid Fic, M/M, Male Slash, Niall is baby daddy, Slow Build, Zayn and Louis too, because it's going to happen, did I mention SLASH?, harry has a baby, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-15 12:35:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2229189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aislynnyume/pseuds/Aislynnyume, https://archiveofourown.org/users/makenai_kokoro/pseuds/makenai_kokoro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles, one fifth of the most famous (infamous) boyband in the world, has made a mistake. An adorable mistake. A sixth month old mistake that he is completely unprepared to handle. But, being the man he is, he would never ignore his child. He would take responsibility and do whatever he had to to make his baby safe and happy. No matter what. </p><p>But, being in One Direction meant you never had to go it alone. Niall would do anything to protect his best friend, even if it meant helping him raise his kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I can see your head is held in shame

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written as an rp between myself and my best friend, makenai_kokoro. I really wanted a slow burn Narry fic that had babies! I love the pictures of the boys with their various kid family members. Seeing Harry styles with Lux Atkins and then the infamous little Cameron/Eric incident at Nashville recently really made me think that Harry would make an excellent father. So here we are!
> 
> This is the first chaptered fic I have written and only the second fic that I've posted. If you don't like my writing, please don't flame me. You can tell me what you think but be polite please. Treat me as you would want me to treat you. Also.. do not comment about how much you hate this pairing or how none of the boys are gay. I know that. This is for entertainment purposes only. 
> 
> I have no set timeline for this. It can be in some random time between tours in the vague future, whatever makes you feel comfortable. There will be various mentioning of things that have happened. This is entirely fiction. Not Real! The boys belong to themselves first and foremost, then they belong to Modest! And Syco. I do not own Harry Styles. Which makes me sad. But, makes my husband happy! 
> 
> There will be more if college classes don't kill me first. But, I definitely plan on finishing this. I wouldn't post it if I weren't sure! Enjoy the first chapter of Through the Dark!

 

Harry stared down at his phone. He must have been sitting there on a hotel bed in New York, his life completely turned upside down in the past twenty-four hours and really not even know where to start to fix it. His first instinct was to call his mother, but he was a grown man. Mummy couldn’t fix this. But, he knew... he couldn’t do this alone. So, he called the one person he knew he could always count on to have his back. Hitting the button, he waited for the other end to pick up. He would be waking him. It’s midnight in New York, making it five a.m. there, but Harry wasn’t worried, this man would always take his call. He took a deep, shuddering breath as the call connected, hearing a soft and sleepy breath answer.

“...'ello?”, came a soft, lilting voice. Niall’s Irish accent thicker in his sleep.

“Hey…Sorry, brother...” He felt his breath hitch, his emotions suddenly swallowing him whole now that he was in contact with Niall.

On the other end of the line, Niall could hear the trepidation and choked up well of emotions in Harry’s voice. Instantly, he was awake, sitting up and raking a hand through his hair, clearing his head, concern welling up inside him.

“ 'arry? What's going on? 're you okay?”

“I... don't even know where to start Nialler...,” Harry breathed shakily into the phone. “I really don't. But, I've got to tell you. All the lads should know really... but, you... I just kind of need my best mate now...,” He trailed off, not sure where to go from there. Everything so jumbled up and confused in his mind.  
           

“ 'ay....Harry, you're scarin' me now... what's going on?” Niall was definitely awake now, worried and scared for Harry. Images of the various things that could be going wrong running through Niall’s head. Niall remembered how devastated Harry could get over things. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and while in some cases that was good, in others, not so good.  
  
“I'm not dying or nothing... Just... I fucked up, yeah?”

“Harry... babe, what's wrong?”

Harry had no choice but to just get it out at this point. “You remember that girl… the one at the club? It was like a year ago... In New York?”

Niall was silent for a long moment, trying to remember. “Yeah... the brunette with red streaks?"

“Yeah... I fucked up Niall... She... Shit...” Harry choked up a bit, everything hitting him suddenly, the reality rushing in and slamming into him. His voice breathless as he lets it all out in a rush. “I got a kid. She doesn't want him...”

Niall was stunned, taking a long moment to let everything sink in. He finally broke the silence, speaking softly. “What do you want to do Harry?”

“I don't know... He's... My kid. I can't just... can’t ignore that. I love kids.”

“What do _we_ need to do?”

“You don't have to do anything mate. This is my fault.”  Harry had no intention of letting this ruin his friends. He’d do anything to protect them and the band. It was important to him that Niall, Lou, Zayn and Liam stay protected from his messes.  


The response from the other end was soft, but firm. “Harry... you know I would do anything for you... yah?”

Harry took a deep shuddering breath, releasing the terror that had been choking him. Just knowing Niall was there for him seemed to make it all better for the moment. “Yeah… I know Niall.” He sighed softly. “I know... I just…what do I do?”

“What do _you_ want to do babe?”

Niall got out of bed, grabbing a bag and throwing clothes haphazardly into it, knowing that Harry needed him and he would be where Harry needed him to me. Harry could be the strongest and yet the most fragile of them all. Niall would never turn his back on him.

Harry was almost afraid to say it. Saying what he wanted would make it all real. If you spoke the words, you couldn’t make it all go away then.

“I... want him. I've always wanted kids. You know I can't just turn my back on him. I can’t. I won’t. It’s going to be hard and I know what we’ll lose fans. Management will try and make me quit or summit… But, I don’t care. I can’t just not do this. I can’t deny him. I’ll hire nannies, or as Lou for help. Lou will help. She has Lux. She’ll know what to do.” He trailed off, seeming to lose steam with his rambling monologue.

“I'm going to head to the airport. I'll meet you in New York, okay?”

“I haven't told anyone else. I just... didn't know how.. I'm here. I'm at the Plaza. You don't have to come though.” Harry knew Niall was spending time with Greg and Theo, he didn’t want to take him away from his family. “I’ll be fine, babe. I swear. I just needed to talk about it.”  

“Harry. I'm coming. I should be there as soon as I can get a flight out.” Niall paused at the door of his car. “Harry... it’s going to be okay.” Nothing would stop him from going to Harry. He estimated with luck he could be there within the next ten hours, with the drive to Dublin and from Dublin catching a flight to New York.

Harry let out a shaky breath, unaware that he had even been holding it. “Okay... Yeah... Thanks, mate. I needed to hear that.”

“I'll see you later. Get some sleep, yeah?”

Niall hung up his phone, starting his car and leaving his brother a message on his phone about having to go to New York for Harry. Greg would understand. He knew how Niall felt about all his bandmates, especially Harry. Niall would go anywhere in the world in an instant for any of his boys. But, for Harry, he’d move Heaven and Earth for him. Sometimes, it amazed Niall that there was actually a person like Harry in the world. He was good. Genuinely good. Never did Harry speak an ill word about anyone. Not even, in Niall’s opinion, when they deserved it.

Niall thought about all the rumors and mean things people sad about Harry as he drove from Mullingar to Dublin. He was sitting next to Harry that night at the AMA’s when Taylor Swift mocked him on stage. All Harry said was that he liked her performance. Niall was so angry on his behalf. But, Harry never said a mean thing. But, still the tabloids published rumors and heresy. Niall promised to himself that he would always stand beside Harry and be his shield. This time and every other.

Harry sighed and put his phone away. He was so tired. So weary. Ever since he got the message, consisting of a picture of a small baby with the words, “This is your son. Call me.”, and number over his Instagram account, he had not slept. It’s not like this was the first time he had been accused of that. But, most of the time, it went through his management. But, this time, he couldn’t just ignore it. It was the eyes. Green. Vibrant green, just like his. Something inside him told him that this was real.

He had called the mother, Emilia. He remembered her. She had been nice and hadn’t expected anything more than what it had been. A hook up to assuage the loneliness of the road and the heartbreak he couldn’t seem to ever move past. She had been sweet and kind and fun, but they had used protection. He _always_ used protection. He wasn’t the whore the media and his image team made him out to be. But, he hadn’t exactly been a monk either. But, Emilia told him something went wrong, she got pregnant. So, now he had a son. Edward she called him. He was six months old and she wanted out.

Harry sighed and walked towards the window, looking out over the New York skyline. In the reflection he could see the papers that confirmed what he had already known deep down. The kid was his. He had immediately demanded a DNA test. It was the handwritten letter along with the test results that had caused him the most anger. He ripped his eyes away from the reflection. He had read the thing over and over. It was simple and short, but those words made him see read.  
  
 _2 million and he’s all yours. I don’t want him. So, either you give me the money or he goes to someone else. Your choice. I want the answer soon._

_-Em_

How could anyone not want their kid?! If he had known about him earlier, he would have been here! He never would have let her go through this alone. When he had asked her over the phone, she had laughed.  
  
  _“Right! Like I could have called and told you that I was pregnant with your kid. You would have laughed at me and hung up. Well… I’m tired of it. I never wanted to be a mother. I don’t want to be one now. He’s your problem. You have money. I don’t. You deal with it. I’ve dealt with it for long enough.”_

He wanted to hate her. Hate for ruining his life, but mostly for ruining that innocent baby’s life. But, honestly, he couldn’t. She had been young too. Barely eighteen. And he had ruined her life first.

Harry raked his hand through his curls and stripped off his clothes, climbing into the bed, bone weary, but too awake at the same time. He had no idea how to raise a child. But, that wasn’t his worry. The greatest fear was how this would affect his career. He never wanted to stop making music. Singing with the lads was the best thing, he didn’t want to give that up. But, he had to do the right thing. He had always wanted kids, just not this soon. Pulling the covers over his head, Harry just sighed and tried to relax. Niall was coming. He would help him figure things out and Harry had never been more grateful to him.

Niall had been a rock for Harry since the beginning of the band. When everything had went pear-shaped with Louis, Niall had been the one to help Harry smile. He had distracted him and been a buffer through the awkwardness. Harry could never repay everything Niall had given him and loved him more than he could explain for it all. He smiled into the darkness, thinking of his friend and relaxing into the sheets. Maybe tomorrow things would look better.


	2. And I'll be here for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall arrives and provides the calm Harry needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aichan here! We were so excited about all the reblogs on tumblr and kudos and love we’ve gotten that we’ve been working extra hard to get this chapter out a bit early. This story is definitely a Narry. The Larry hints are most just that. Hints and a bit one-sided really. I love Larry, but it wasn’t the goal of this story. The Zouis is going to be low key, but we’ve talked about writing a side fic to this one dealing with that relationship. Not sure. It depends on how Makenai’s work goes and my classes. Anyway! I’m glad everyone is enjoying this! If you have any questions or want to contact me, my tumblr is aislynnyume. Come by if you want!

It was about twelve hours later that Niall finally made it to the door of Harry’s suite. It had taken some time to get a flight out of Dublin to New York, not to mention the fans finding him and him having to alert security that he needed help. It had been an absolute madhouse and Niall was exhausted. He was also starving, but mostly exhausted. Luckily, Harry had left him a text with the name he was under and telling him that he had informed the hotel to let Niall up straight away. So, good on Harry for sparing Niall the problem of booking another room and dealing with that hassle as well. 

  
Using his card key that he had picked up, Niall went to open the door, almost falling in when it was jerked open suddenly. He looked up, to see a haggard and drawn looking Harry reaching for him. Niall straightened and was immediately pulled into a tight hug. Niall pulled him in, hugging him back just as tightly.   
  
“Hey…” Harry whispered into the skin of Niall’s neck, folding into him, trying to get as much contact as possible.   
  
“Hey babe… How are you holding up?”

Harry sighed. “Like shit… Utter shit. She’s signing over everything tomorrow. She wants money.”

Harry pulled back and slid his hand down Niall’s arm, sliding his fingers into Niall’s, needing the contact and feeling more grounded by the second.

“I don’t care. She can have it. She can have it all. I’ll give her what she wants.”

“That sick bitch,” Niall cursed, pulling Harry into the opulent rooms, aware that they were half in the hallway and shutting the door behind them. “She’s basically selling her own child!”

Niall couldn’t understand it, and judging from Harry’s face, he couldn’t fathom her actions either. He pulled harry over to the couch and sat them down.

“I’ll be there with you if you want.”

Harry nodded and fidgeted, having Niall around made him feel better, but the nerves were coming back strong.

“He’s little… proper little. Only six months.”

“So young…” Niall squeezed Harry’s hand in reassurance. “When are planning to go?”

“Around nine in the morning. She won’t give him up until she gets the check.” Harry knew Niall was going to get even angrier at the figure. He could see that his friend was already on a low simmer.

“She wants two million.”

Niall looked at Harry in disbelief. He was stunned at the named figure. Even for them, that was a lot of money. Sure, they made a lot. But, most of the money they made went to pay all the people that worked for them and upkeep on their homes and help for their families. They had bills just like everyone else.   
  
“TWO MILLION?!”

“Yeah. It's fine though... I sold the house in Miami.” Harry shrugged as if the money were no big deal. To him, it wasn’t. Money was there for him to help those he loved and even if he didn’t know his son, he loved him. Money meant nothing when faced with that. “I liquidated some assets. She has the money, I get my son and she has no say. The lawyers said so.”  

Niall had never felt anger or hatred like he did towards this girl, but kept it to himself, and just nodded to Harry. He didn’t want to make this harder for Harry than it already was, but to him, she deserved nothing in his mind. Harry could be too nice sometimes.

“I talked to my mum yesterday... She's so mad... but not at me. She thinks I'm doing the right thing.” Harry sighed and played absently with his curls, a nervous habit he had developed as his hair got longer and longer.

Niall watched him for a moment and squeezed his hand again, bumping their shoulders together.

“I think you are too. You're being amazingly grown up.”

Harry went quiet, melting into Niall’s side, knowing he wouldn’t turn him away and would give him the cuddle he really needed right now. Here beside Niall, Harry could finally voice his greatest fear.

“What if I have to quit the band?” He asked quietly, afraid to say it aloud.

“You won't!” Niall was emphatic. They had all agreed many times that there wouldn’t be a group without all five of them. They knew from the moment they were put together that the five of them had something special. It just wouldn’t work without all of them. Niall couldn’t imagine being in One Direction without Harry. He wouldn’t want to be.

“Yeah…,” Harry continued, still quiet. “But none of us have messed up this bad. Even Lou and Zayn getting caught smoking a joint wasn’t this bad…”

Niall rubbed his back, wanting to comfort him. “Harry. I won't stay a part of a group that doesn’t have the five of us.”

Chances are, if one of the members left the group they all would. But, none of them were ready to give it up, give each other up. Not yet. Even if they fought sometimes, they were a family. Niall knew that Zayn could call him all manner of names one minute, but the second someone else said something to Niall, Zayn would have his back. They were brothers, no, they were more than that. Niall felt closer to the other four boys in the band than he did to Greg some days.

Harry turned to him, burying his face in Niall’s neck, his body shaking from the force of the emotions he had been keeping locked up. He had been trying so hard to not just cry and have a breakdown. But, having Niall so close and understanding seemed to make holes in that carefully built wall.

“Niall… I'm sorry…”

Niall felt his heart break for Harry and pulled him close, fingers sifting gently through his curls. Harry was the more emotional one, Niall was a little surprised he hadn’t already been crying and having a strop about everything.

“Don’t apologize. We can’t be perfect. We’re human. We make mistakes. It’s okay.”

“I swear… I used a condom! I always use a condom!” Harry needed Niall to believe him. That this had not been on purpose. Or maybe he just needed to get it all out. To expunge it and move on from this disbelief.

“Do you remember it breaking?”

“No. I don't... I wasn't that pissed. I was upset that night, but not overly drunk.”

“Did you do a blood test?” Niall hated to ask that question, but honestly, it had to be asked. It wasn’t kind to think that people would try and trap celebrities like that. But, she wouldn’t have been the first to do and most likely not the last.

Harry nodded. “He's mine. He has my eyes.”

He pulled away and walked over to the office desk, grabbing the picture and papers. He handed them all to Niall, letting him look through it. He could see the doubt being erased from Niall’s face at the picture. Niall could see how much like Harry the little baby looked.

“What's his name?” Niall asked Harry with a gentle smile.   
  
“She named him Edward. After me. I’m changing his name. James. James Edward. Jamie.” He was rambling now, having just made the decision in that instant. He suddenly knew what he wanted to name his son.

Niall smiled and nodded. “It’s a lovely name. I like it.”

“It’s your middle name. So… I was hoping you would.”

“Harry…” Niall blinked in surprise. “Did you name him after me?”

Harry flushed slightly, shrugging and flopping down beside him on the couch.

“Yeah. That and I thought I’d keep my middle name in there too. James Edward. It just... Seemed like a good idea to me.” Harry hoped that didn’t sound too silly. He wanted Niall to know how much he appreciated and cared for him.

Feeling himself tear up, Niall blinked it away, giving Harry a soft smile. The thought of Harry caring enough to name his child after him made his heart clench in his chest.

“Thanks babe... it means a lot...”

“Well... I've seen you with Lux and Theo. I know you love kids. I'm hoping you will love Jamie just as much.” Harry laughed quietly and wiped at his own eyes, sniffing a bit.

“Of course I will! He's your son."

Harry threw himself at Niall in a grateful hug, truly relaxing for the first time since this whole thing began.

“Thanks Niall.”

Niall held him tightly, giving him the solace Harry so desperately needed. If Harry needed to be held, Niall could do that. It had always hurt him to see Harry down. It had especially hurt to see him go from such a fun loving boy during the beginning of XFactor, to someone more closed off and reserved like the Harry he was today. But, sometimes, like now, he could see the same cuddly sixteen-year-old boy he had met on that stage.

“Let's get some sleep, and tomorrow we'll get your son, ok?”

“Come on. I know you must be completely knackered.” Harry tugged at Niall’s hand, pulling him into the bedroom. “I’ve only got the one bed. Don’t mind sharing, right?”

Harry nodded when Niall shook his head. They had all shared each other’s bed at points throughout their years together. Sometimes, they had piled pillows and mattresses all together in a pile. Especially when something had happened and one of the five of them had needed the comfort. It wasn’t unusual.

“I am. That flight was horrid.” Niall yawned, tugging off his shirt and jeans, crawling between the sheets wearing his pants. He patted the bed for Harry to get in as well. “You’re my best mate. I'll be there for you. No matter what.”

Harry climbed in beside him, shifting into Niall space and laying his head on his shoulder, an arm sliding around Niall’s middle. He smiled into Niall’s skin, snuggling against his side.

“Me too.” He reached out and flicked the light of the lamp off, casting them into darkness, comfortable in the silence. He broke it a few moments later to speak softly, drifting into sleep slowly. “You really didn't have to come.” Harry pressed a very brief and light kiss to Niall’s jaw. “But, I'm really glad you did.” 


	3. I just want to see you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry finally has his child and the rest of the band enters... sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we finally get Jamie! This was a complicated chapter with a lot of ups and downs for us. But, we hope you like it! 
> 
> One a side note, I apologize for the typos in the first two chapters. At some point I hope to go back and proofread them. But, here is the third chapter! Let us know what you think and thanks for reading!

 

Harry waited inside the opulent room his lawyers had provided, for the meeting with Emilia. Along with Niall, Harry sat with his hands folded tightly on top of the table. He was nervous. So many things could go wrong. Emilia could decide against it. Harry knew that he couldn’t just pretend this had never happened. Now that he knew about Jamie, he wanted him. In truth, this might be the only chance he would have at a child.

He resisted the urged to run his hand through his hair, forgetting for a second that he had it pulled back today. He looked up and caught Niall watching him quietly. Harry sighed softly.

“What if everyone hates me for this?” Harry didn’t like that he cared so much for people’s opinions, but he did. He wanted everyone to love him and think well of him. “I’d rather quit than cause problems for the band.”

Niall shook his head and looked around the room quietly, answering Harry in a firm voice.

“Hush Harry. No one will hate you.”

Harry wanted to say more, but his attention was drawn as the doors opened and a young woman was escorted in. His eyes were immediately drawn to the baby carrier she had in her hands. He rose quickly to his feet, wanting to help her. “Emilia…”

Emilia stopped in front of him, setting the carrier down on the table. Harry saw how tired and angry she looked. Her voice sent shivers through his spines when she spoke. It sounded cold and hard.   
  
“You have the money and the papers I need to sign?”

She dropped the baby bag on the floor, sitting in the empty chair. Harry stared at the carrier, wanting to see the baby. But, she pulled him away from Harry’s eyes. Harry glanced at Niall, his friend looked calm and had a smile, but Harry could see the fury and hate towards Emilia in his usually kind blue eyes.

“Yeah… I’ve got it.” Harry reached for the folder containing the custody documents and the check for two million dollars. He opened the folder and had the lawyers explain the details of the contract. Emilia would receive the money and sign over and any rights to the child, one James Edward Styles. Harry signed on the line indicated, no hesitation or pause.

Niall had been watching Emilia the whole time. She wouldn’t look at him or Harry, just sat there with a scowl on her face. At one point, the baby started to fuss and she reached for him, taking him out of the carrier carefully. He put his hand on Harry’s leg, letting him know that he was there. He wanted to give Harry the knowledge that he was there for him.

The papers were pushed towards Emilia. Everyone seemed to hold their breath as he lifted the pen, the baby cradled to her chest. Harry felt his body break out in a cold chill as she hesitated. He knew something would go wrong. He was still shocked when he saw her set the pen down and look defiantly at him. But, her words shocked him even more.

“I want five million. Not two.”

Harry felt like the world stopped spinning. Emilia stared him in the eye, the room in chaos around them. It seemed as if her words had galvanized his lawyers into motion. They were all shaking their heads and swearing to take her to court. Harry barely paid them any attention. The stare off was abruptly broken by Niall standing. His eyes were also on Emilia. Burning in righteous anger, but his demeanor calm.

“Harry, go grab a drink, okay?” Niall said. He would handle her. He could do this for Harry. But, Harry just shook his head.

“No. It’s fine. Give it to her. Give her whatever she wants.” Harry replied calmly. “I don’t care.”

Niall saw Emilia meet his eyes, emotion flaring in hers for a brief second before she slid away from his gaze.

“Anything I want,” she said quietly. “What if I want you to quit your job? Would you do that?”

“You are the most… self-centered _bitch_ I’ve ever met!” Niall snarled at her. “You would ask him to do that after taking everything he has?!”

Niall had had enough. That was going too far! He found himself taking a step in, almost against his will. He didn’t know how far he would have gone. Maybe he would have stepped in and taken Jamie from her arms. Made her sign those damn papers. Anything to spare Harry this pain. But, a hand on his arm and a soft, worried voice in his ear stopped him.

“Niall… Don’t… it’s not worth it…” Harry spoke quietly to him. Leaning in close as he always did. He was afraid she’d leave and take his son. Afraid that Niall would get into trouble. But, the small triumphant smile on Emilia’s face almost made let go and damn the consequences!

“Why?” She asked, looking directly at Niall with a challenging gaze. “Harry said anything. Why are you saying no? What right do you have to say no?”

Harry flushed in shame and anger and turned to the lawyers, asking them to leave the room. He didn’t want this all to be hashed out in front of everyone. It was embarrassing enough. He waited until the team had filed out and turned back to Niall and Emilia. Any reply or words he would have spoken were cut off by an angry Niall.

“You’re going to let her get away with this?!”

“What choice do I have, Niall?!”

“Are you going to rob him of his chance to be a father?” Emilia cut in, smirking at them.

Niall’s fury multiplied to the nth degree. He roughly shook off Harry’s arm and grabbed the check, stepping in and slapping it on the table in front of her. His movements were slow and precise, his rage so close to getting out.

“This, is what you're going to do.” Niall said, quietly and seriously. “You're going to take the 2 million originally agreed upon, and you're going to walk away.”

“Niall!” Harry had never seen Niall so angry or threatening.

To her credit, Emilia never flinched. She stared Niall down.

“And if I don’t? What are you going to do?” She asked him, then turned to Harry. “What would you do for him? For the baby?”

Harry felt overwhelmed, but couldn’t stop himself from answering. It was almost an instinct for him. What would he do for this child? His child. The answer was simple. So, he gave the only one he could.

“Anything.” He answered sincerely. “He’s just a baby. He’s innocent and doesn’t need to be put through this. I’d protect him with everything I have.” He turned to Niall, begging him silently to understand. “It’s just money… I spend it on stupid things anyway, right?”

Niall shook his head, wishing Harry would stop being so damn understanding and nice all the time.

“That’s the thing! _You_ are willing to do anything for the well-being of your son.” He looked away from Harry, his eyes hardening as they land on Emilia. “ _You_ , on the other hand, are a greedy whore that puts a price on her child!”

Her cheeks flushed, but she kept looking at him calmly.

“Are you saying you would protect Harry from himself? You’d stop him from going too far? From doing something you consider stupid? What are you, his protector?” She gave him a level look, daring him to deny his protectiveness over Harry.

“Yes!” Niall shouted at her. “That’s _exactly_ what I’m saying!” He didn’t need to think about it. He knew he never hesitate to defend Harry. “He’s my best mate! I would walk through hell fire for him… I’d even deal with you!”

Harry startled from his surprise at the soft cry of the baby. He wanted to reach for him, but that could just make things worse. His eyes locked on the fussing form, hidden mostly by a blanket. He wanted to hold him so badly. He just wanted to hold him and protect him.

“Okay.” Emilia nodded and kissed her son’s head tenderly, then held him out to Harry. “I just needed to know. I had to be sure…” She trailed off and slid Jamie into Harry’s stunned arms, looking away quickly.

Harry stared down at the wiggling baby. Green eyes met identical ones and Time seemed to stop. Harry’s breath caught in his throat and he felt tears prick behind his eyes. “Hey, little one… it’s me. It’s Daddy.”

Niall looked on, torn between confusion and joy. Confusion because Emilia just gave in, he glanced at her and saw her sag in the chair, suddenly tired and seemed much older than she should be. He didn’t understand. If she loved her child, why would she sell him?

“I don’t want the money.” She said quietly and reached for the papers, unable to look at Harry and Jamie, signing quickly, this time without hesitation. “It’s done.”

“What?!” Harry was pulled away from his son’s gaze, the events finally catching up to him. “I don’t… understand.”

Niall never took his eyes from her, watching her sign over her rights to her child.

“Why are you doing this? What was all that?” He asked her quietly. He noticed her hand tighten on the edge of the table, her throat swallowing convulsively.

“I can’t be there for him. He deserves the best. I can’t do that. Harry can.” She spoke just as quietly, then looked at Niall, her eyes red and her expression one of weary sadness. “It was an accident. My parents wanted me to abort. I couldn’t do that. So, I left and had him. On my own. But… I’m sick. I can’t take care of him. I can barely take care of myself. I know this was all stupid, but I wanted to make sure it was going to be alright.”

Niall and Harry both had no idea what to say. Harry just held Jamie closer, smiling down at him as he calmed. He kissed Jamie’s baby soft hair, already so in love with him.

Emilia smiled softly at him, the smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“I knew you’d be a good Dad.” She looked at Niall, the sight of Harry and Jamie seemed to be too much for her. “I was worried that he would just give up everything and be too trusting of what people told him to do. I’m glad you will look out for them. I will feel better knowing that you will be there, Niall.”

Niall nodded and letting her words sink in. He moved back towards Harry, putting a hand on his shoulder, his other coming to rest on Jamie’s head.

“I’ll watch over both of them. We will protect Jamie and make sure he’s happy.” Niall made a silent promise to always be there for both of the Styles men.

“I can help you…” Harry looked at her quietly. He didn’t want her to be in pain or die. “What do you need?”

Emilia shook her head and smiled at them.

“You are doing it.” She took a deep breath and tried to explain. “I have Leukemia. I had it when I was a child. It’s back now. My parents want me back, but they are too old to raise Eddie… I mean Jamie. He deserves to be with the parent that isn’t going to be too sick to hold him.”

“Isn't there anything we can do?” Harry offered. He wouldn’t want to take Jamie away from her. “You could come with us…”

“No.” Emilia shook her head, her decision firm. “I don't want him to grow up watching me waste away.”

She picked up the bag, handing it to Harry.

“I figured you could get the rest. Just... tell him I loved him. There's a letter in there for him. When he's older.”

Niall could see her shaking a little. He took the bag and set it down.

“This is the best way.” She said quietly, refusing to cry.

Niall took the bag and looked at Harry for a long moment before he made a decision. Picking up the check, Niall held it out to her.

“Take it. It will help you and your parents.” He didn’t want to think of her being unable to get the help she needed.

“No.” Emilia flushed and refused to check. “My parents have money. Put it aside for him. In a trust. Whatever you want. I won’t take it.”

“Then. At least call me if you need anything... Okay?” Harry spoke quietly, wishing he could do more for her.

She nodded and gave Jamie one last kiss on his head then disappeared quickly, almost like a breeze sweeping through the room.

Harry sighed, dropping carefully into his chair, cuddling Jamie close.

“She does love him. I’m glad of that.”

He was. His mother was the best, he couldn’t imagine going through life, knowing she hated him. He lifted his head and smiled at Niall. Jamie drew his attention again with a soft mewl. Harry reached into the bag to pull out a bottle, already prepared. Emilia would have known he would get hungry.

Niall watched him feed his son. He felt ashamed of all the things he had said, for losing his temper. He watched as father and son looked adoringly at one another. Harry was generally beautiful, but made even more incredible by the action of loving his child.

“I feel bad for saying those things.”

“No…” Harry smiled at him, eyes bright and locked onto Niall’s. “It was great. You were a right hero, Niall.”

Niall smiled and reached a hand out to Jamie, laughing as he latched onto a finger. The little guy never breaking from his bottle to be fully distracted by Niall.

“He’s beautiful, Harry.” Niall stroked the baby’s cheek. “He has your eyes...”

Harry sighed softly, smiling as he kissed Jamie's hair. He offered him to Niall, setting him in his arms as the lawyers came in, setting up the paperwork to have Jamie’s passport and dual citizenship put through. He paused before they left and asked for one million to be set aside in a fund for Emilia in the event that she needed money. Soon as he was done, he gathered Jamie back into his carrier and handed the bag to Niall.

“So… we’ve still got a lot to deal with it, I suppose.” Harry turned to Niall and grinned. “Or we could take him and fuck off to parts unknown?”

“No, we need to let everyone know. They deserve to know.” Niall rubbed Harry’s back as they loaded into the car, glad the paparazzi had not found out where they were. He reached out and helped Harry strap the carrier into the car, very grateful for all the practice they had gotten with Lux and Theo.

“I know. I want to tell the lads first… maybe on Skype?” Harry looked at Niall in question. Harry leaned back in the seat, putting a hand on Jamie’s carrier, when Niall nodded his agreement. He relaxed back and let Niall handle getting them back to the hotel, unable to really stop touching Jamie, looking at him in awe.

Niall watched him with a soft smile.

“Do you need me to keep an eye on him tomorrow, while you handle the paperwork at the embassy?”

“Are you sure?” Harry turned to Niall, asking quietly. “I don’t want to burden you.”

“You’re not!” Niall smiled, reaching out to Harry, touching his hand. “I _want_ to. I love kids. You know that.” He shifted his hand to Jamie’s head, stroking his soft curls.

Harry couldn’t stop himself from leaning over and kissing Niall’s cheek. “You are amazing Niall Horan. I hope you know that. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me Harry.” Niall refuted. He blushed and felt his stomach flip. Every time Harry smiled at him that way, his heart seized up.

“I know,” Said Harry, still smiling. “I just think you are brilliant. No one else would have been this amazing. Louis would have kept telling me how stupid it was. Zayn would have laughed a lot and Liam would have been flailing around and not sure what to do.”

“I'd do anything for you babe. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I won't. I'd do the same for you. I mean it.”

Niall reached over and took his hand, squeezing it gently. He held onto it for the remainder of the ride to the hotel. They had to break out the ninja pop star skills to get into the back of the hotel and up to the suite unseen, but they managed. Niall could see the stress of the day wearing Harry down.

“Why don’t you go lay down Harry?” Niall steered Harry and the baby towards the bedroom. “I’ll call the lads and set up a Skype session for later, okay?”

Harry nodded gratefully and set the carrier down, lifting Jamie out and moving towards the bed.

“I’m going to lay down with him.” Harry laid Jamie down on the bed, changing his nappy before stripping his own shirt off. He crawled into the bed, wrapping his arm and body around the sleepy baby.

Niall kissed Jamie on the forehead, then crept from the room, shutting it carefully behind him. He sighed and gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts. It had been a whirlwind of a day and they still hadn’t told anyone about Jamie. Best get to that then, he thought, grabbing his phone and calling the first one that came to mind.

“Niall Horan!” Came the voice on the other line. Louis. Niall smiled at the half scolding, half teasing tone in Louis’s voice. “ _What_ have you been doing, you cheeky leprechaun?!”

“What are you talking about Lou?” Niall didn’t know how much Louis already knew. He and Harry had been staying away from all the websites and social media outlets.

“I have heard rumors that you ran off to New York in the middle of the night,” Louis ranted. “And that it has something to do with Harry. But, nothing else. Neither Zayn nor Liam know what is going on. And Management is DYING.” Niall chuckled, Louis could be so dramatic.

“That’s what I'm calling about. Harry wants us all to Skype tonight. He has something to tell the three of you.”

Niall heard a sigh come after a long moment of silence. Then he heard Louis speak, quieter than he expected.

“Yeah. Okay. I'll... Christ... how bad is it?”

“It’s not bad Lou. But it’s big. And we need to support him.” Niall had no idea what was running through Louis’s head right now.

“Okay. Right. I'll be there. When?”

“8pm Eastern time. So in about 5 hours.” Niall knew that would put them up late, but he wanted Harry to get some rest.

“Yeah. Okay. I'll be there. I'll call Zayn yeah?”

“Thanks Lou.” Niall said. “I’ll give Li a ring.”

“Alright Niall. Talk to you soon. Give Harry my love yeah? You take care and I love you.” They always liked to end on that, because it was a nice reminder. Even when they fought, they loved each other.

“I will. Love you too Lou.” Niall hung up and took a deep breath, calling Liam now.

“Hey Nialler!” Came Liam’s cheerful voice over the line. “We've been worried! What's the news?”

Niall wasted no time in getting to the point. He was tired himself and wanted to just crawl into the bed with Jamie and Harry.

“We need you to be on Skype at 8pm eastern. Harry has something to say to everyone.”

“Oh fuck…” Liam sounded winded and slightly panicked. “What happened? Is he quitting?! He wouldn't do that?! Is he coming out? Are the fans right about everything?!”

Niall was a little shocked at Liam. He didn’t usually curse that much. He and Louis had the worst mouths in the band. Not to mention, that Liam also didn’t freak out this bad.

“Liam… calm down mate. It’s okay. Nothing bad.”

“Okay. Sorry, mate. Just... paranoia gets to me sometimes.” Liam confessed quietly into the phone. “You don't want to think your mate might be thinking of a solo career, but we're all sort of waiting for the day one of the others says.. ‘I'm done with this’.”

“I don't think that will happen.” Niall rebutted, firmly. “All of this never would have happened if the five of us weren't put together that day... maybe it could have... but it wouldn’t have been the same.”

“Yeah. You’re right. It wouldn't be us. So... 8 your time then?” He sounded calm again. Maybe he just needed that moment to get his fears out.

“Yeah. Li. It’s going to be okay.”

“Yeah. I know it will. We're all in this together. I'm done freaking out mate,” Liam laughed. “It's okay. Do I need to call Zayn?”

“No. Lou is doing it.” Niall let out a weary sigh. “I'm going to go lay down now. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay. Love you Ni. Get some rest. See you in a few hours

“Love you too.” Said Niall before hanging up. He walked back into the bedroom, seeing Jamie and Harry curled up and sleeping in the bed. Niall decided it looked too inviting, with the space on the other side of Jamie open. He walked over and climbed in beside them. He was surprised when a large hand slid into his own and looked up to see sleepy green eyes watching him.

“Hmmm…” Harry whispered in a husky tone. “Welcome back…” He smiled and slid back into sleep, holding onto Niall and his son.


	4. So let's just laugh again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Niall Skype with the boys. Emotional roller coaster ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this story. We've really enjoyed doing it. The next few weeks will be hectic, but I'm aiming to get a new chapter out every couple of days! Thank you for encouraging us!

 

 Louis stared down at his phone after Niall had hung up. He really didn’t know what to expect with this. Part of him wondered if Harry wanted to come out completely. Or maybe he wanted to admit that he was in love with Niall. Louis honestly didn’t know how to feel about that. There was just so much history there…

He shook his head clear of those thoughts. He had burnt that bridge and it had been for the best really. He needed to do what he had told Niall he would and call Zayn. Slipping out into the backyard, Louis rung Zayn’s phone. He knew he’d most likely be waking him, even though it was evening. Zayn liked to catch up on sleep when they were on break.

“This had better be important Tomlinson…” Came the husky sleep-filled voice of Zayn. He had probably just rolled over and grabbed the phone while asleep.

“It is… Niall called.”

That was enough to wake Zayn up. Management had been calling all of them since Niall took off two days ago to New York and both he and Harry had stopped returning calls. Management was afraid they were planning something. Louis, Zayn and Liam had just been worried for their friends. It wasn’t like the two them to keep big secrets.

“What’s going on? Is he and Harry okay?” Zayn let out, worried and tense.

“They want us on Skype in five hours. I'm thinking we should all get together yeah? Are you in London? Or are you off with Perrie? I'm in Doncaster, but I could be at yours or Liam’s in a few hours...” Louis trailed off, knowing he was rambling, but sometimes he just couldn’t stop. He Zayn would understand his feeling of anxiety.

“I'm in London,” Zayn replied, the rustling of the bed clothes over the line telling Louis that he was getting up. “Is he okay? He didn't go and get someone pregnant did he?”

“Christ.” Louis expelled a loud breath and headed back inside, he went up to his room and started throwing clothes in his bag. “I have no fucking clue, mate... I mean, he got so furious at us about the pot smoking video, though honestly, he was more pissed that someone leaked it than us doing it. And why call Niall? Why not call all of us?!” Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Louis knew he was being unfair. He refused to think about his reasons for being hurt with Harry. “I know everything’s been a bit weird lately... But he's still our best mate.”

“He is.” Zayn said quietly. “I'll meet you at Liam's. Be careful and I will see you in a few hours.”

“Okay. See you then.” Louis zipped his bag closed and hoisted it over his shoulder. “Get food. I'll be starved.”

“Got it babe.”

“Ta, love. Love ya.” Louis hung up his phone and went to explain to his mum that he needed to head back to London tonight. 

* * *

 

 

Four hours later, Louis knocked on Liam’s door. He was cranky and tired from the drive. His unabated anxiety and worry did nothing to make his somewhat volatile emotions any more stable. He was relieved when Liam pulled the door open and smiled.

“We ordered Indian. Got you Butter Chicken. Zayn is napping on the couch and I’m in a bit of a panic.”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh and give Liam a hug. Liam was either really sensible or really crazed. He was never one for a happy medium. Louis walked past him, into the house, shaking his head in amusement at the sight of Zayn face down on Liam’s couch, drooling. Louis walked over threw himself down on top of Zayn.

“Wake up Zayn!”

Liam laughed and shook his head before heading into the kitchen area, grabbing their food and beers. Louis laughs as Zayn grabbed him, rolling over onto Louis and shushing him.

“Just go to sleep with me then.”

“We can’t!” Louis grinned and ran his fingers through Zayn’s hair. “Harry and Niall… Remember? Come on, you lazy arse. Food and then the lads.”

“Yeah… I know…” Zayn said with a yawn, letting Louis play with his hair and enjoying the attention.

“So…,” Louis sighed softly, petting Zayn and watching Liam putting out the takeaway and bottles on the table before the couch. “What do you guys think they want to tell us?”

“You think they are together?” Liam asked, his forehead scrunching up in thought. “Like... Harry is coming out? With Niall?”

Zayn snorted, shaking his head and sitting up finally. He stretched his arms out and grabbed a beer.

“I doubt that.” He said. Zayn really thought that Harry was still hung up on Louis. But, he also believed in exercising the better part of valor and NOT saying that Louis. “I still think he's pregnant.”

Louis laughed and sat up, shoving Zayn, grabbing his food and digging in. He was absolutely starving.

“You mean he got some bird pregnant, because men can't have babies. Unless that's what Harry wants to tell us.”

Zayn shrugged. “You would know… right?”

Louis glared at Zayn, feeling that was really rude of him to bring that up. They _never_ brought that up.

“I know Niall said it wasn't this…,” Liam interjected. He really did not want to deal with Zayn and Louis getting in strop tonight. “But do you think Harry wants to leave? Things have been hard on him and it's been so tense.”

“No.” Zayn said firmly, taking a sip of his drink. “He's always been the most vocal about never leaving the group.”

Liam let out a soft breath. “Yeah. I guess I'm just being paranoid.”

Louis concentrated on his food, silent and broody. He knew that is was partially his fault that Harry was tense in the first place. He hadn’t fought very hard against things. He had broken Harry’s heart. Unintentional or not, it had happened.

“It's not like we can ever really talk to him about things.” Louis said seriously. “He runs away whenever we stop for more than one night. I've tried talking to him.” He sighed and dropped back against the couch. “Just log us on to Skype. I know it's early, but maybe…” He trailed off with a shrug.  

Zayn grabbed the computer, signing in under his name.

“Looks like they had the same idea,” he said pointing to Niall’s name. He hit the button to connect them.

* * *

In New York, Niall had been waiting at his computer, having had a feeling that the other guys wouldn’t be able to wait. He smiled when Zayn’s name popped up on his Skype.

“Harry? Babe?” He called into the bedroom. “They are online and calling.” He accepted their call and smiled, waving at them. “Hello my friends! Harry will be here in a tic.”

Liam smiled and nodded at Niall. “That’s alright Ni. We’re patient. You look well. Don’t he look well lads?”

Zayn just nodded, but Louis gave Liam an incredulous look. “Liam… Niall looks just like he always looked. What are you going on about?”

Liam started to explain himself, possibly about to argue with Louis, but was distracted by Harry’s soft laugh as he sat down beside Niall.

“You two are so funny. Bickering like two brothers.” Harry smiled, waving at them. He had just put Jamie down in the crib for the night.

Louis leaned in, argument with Liam completely forgotten. “Harold! What’s wrong?”

Zayn immediately reached out, sliding a hand along Louis’s spine, calming him. He could see Niall do the same to Harry with a hand on the back of his neck. Maybe Harry wasn’t as hung up on Louis as Zayn had thought. Niall was obviously waiting for Harry to speak. But, Harry looked frozen and scared. Zayn could feel the moment Louis had had enough of the silence.

“Harry! Niall!” Louis raked a hand through his hair in frustration. “Someone just say something!”

The outburst seemed to shake Harry out of his stupor. He visibly floundering for words and took a deep breath.

“Last year…” He began. “During the tour. I went out one night with Niall and met someone.” He lost his words again, not sure what to say, he was almost relieved when Jamie let out a piercing scream at realizing he had been left alone by Harry and Niall.

The silence was palpable except for the baby’s screams. Niall was the first to move, running to the bedroom and everyone could hear him shushing the baby gently. His obvious love and tenderness showing through, making his accent even thicker and more pronounced.

“Shh… It’s okay…. I gotcha kiddo…” Came Niall’s lilting words through the screen.

Louis broke the silence on their end with an arched brow and a clipped, “Someone want to explain the baby, then?” Liam could see him figuring out how he felt about it, but it was Zayn that gave them all the break of tension that they needed. He laughed. Zayn just laughed. Liam broke out into a slow grin, trying not to laugh as well. Louis and Harry’s faces were really priceless. They both look entirely too constipated.

“Jamie.” Harry said softly. “His name is James Edward Styles. Jamie for short. He’s my son.”

“Christ…” Liam finally started laughing and looked at Zayn. “I'm glad we didn't bet.”

“Why are you laughing?” Louis stared at the two of them, half in betrayal and half in confusion.

“Sorry mate.  We're not laughing at you.” Zayn said to Harry, then turned to Louis, grinning at him. “You have to admit though that I was on mark.”

Niall shakes his head in amusement, walking back in with a fussy little Jamie against his chest.

“Not the time to be smug Zayn.” Louis said, rolling his eyes and then turning back to Harry. “Right. So. Kid. Thought it would be one of us three really. Okay. Give it all to us then.”

Harry looked at Niall and Jamie and felt himself calm. He looked at the guys, at Louis and began.

“Emilia... the mum. She’s real sick and can't keep him. She gave him to me. I'm not going to give him up or hide him. I made a mistake, but I'm proud of him and I'm... you guys should know yeah? That this is my responsibility and I'm going to do the right thing.”

Liam listened to Harry and put himself in Harry’s shoes. He could see the circles under Harry’s eyes and imagined nothing they could say would be anything Harry had not already said to himself. He said the only thing he could.

“Harry. Mate. I can’t say this isn’t scary for the band as a whole… But, as your friend… I love you and support you and I’m really excited to be an uncle.” Liam smiled at Harry.

“We're behind you, no matter what Harry.” Said Zayn softly. “Mates through and through yeah?”

Louis needed a moment. He didn’t want to be a complete twat, but he honestly didn’t know what to think about this. He stood up quickly, making the excuse that he needed to go to the loo. He disappeared back into Liam’s bathroom, unaware of Harry watching him go with a sad look.

Harry shook off his disappointment and turned to smile to Niall, holding out his arms.

“Let’s introduce Jamie to his uncles, yeah?” He took Jamie from Niall, giving him a small smile when Niall touched his neck. He knew Niall was asking if he was alright. They had no trouble understanding one another silently. He just sat Jamie on his lap and faced the camera.

“Uncle Zayn… Uncle Liam…” Harry grinned at them. “This is Jamie. Jamie… meet your uncles.” He waved Jamie’s hand at them.

Liam pushed Zayn out of the way to get closer. “Hey buddy! This is Uncle Liam. I’ll be your favorite!”

“Whatever,” Zayn pushed Liam back. “I’m the fun-loving uncle.” He smiled at Jamie, who gurgled happily at them, bouncing in excitement on Harry’s lap.

Harry just laughed and bounced him more, happy that they were taking this so well. “I was afraid, you would be mad.”

“Well. I'm not thrilled about it,” Liam looked at Harry, serious and kind. “But we've stood together through the dumb shit Zayn and Louis and I have done. We'll stand firm with you too. Drugs, accusations of homophobia, fights, alcohol dazes and all that. We've managed. We will continue to do so.” He smiled at Harry.

Niall started as his phone range, he looked down to see Louis’s name on the screen. He stood and ran a hand down Harry’s arm. “I’ll be right back. Need to take this.”

“Okay.” Harry said. He was happy that the lads seemed to be handling this so well. “We’ll be here.”

Niall smoothed a hand over Jamie’s head then stepped out into the hallway, answering the call. “Hello Lou.”

“I don't know what to say to him.” Louis sounded strained over the line.  

Niall let out an irritated huff at Louis. “You support him. That’s what mates do.”

Louis couldn’t see to stop it. Everything he had been holding in, just seemed to come out. But, he know Niall would take sense into him. It’s why he called him. That… and he knew he needed to hash this out with Niall now. Not later.

“I don't know what to think!” Louis spat.  “I mean. Fuck... Niall... He said he's gay and yet he sleeps with all these birds. Then he gets angry with Zayn and I about the video... Barely fucking speaks to me! And now he's got a baby!? I'm right hacked off about this mate... I support him! Of course I do! But, I'm still furious at the same time!” He was. The more it came out, the more he realized how upset he was with Harry over this.

“I know you’re upset.” Niall said firmly. “But smoking pot and getting recorded and not realizing you got a girl knocked up are two different things. You should note though that Harry is being a man about this and being a father to this child that he knew _NOTHING ABOUT_ until two days ago! So how about you put your anger aside for two seconds and let him know you're there for him!”

“Niall…” Louis had rarely ever heard Niall get upset or angry. It threw him for a loop. “I'm not trying to be petty! I'm just... trying to talk this out dammit. You know things are weird between Harry, But I do

“Then tell him that.” Niall said. “You can tell him the rest of your feelings when we get home.”

Louis sighed. “Okay. I will. I'm jealous you know.”

“About what?” Niall said with confusion.

“It used to be me he would call.” Louis confessed softly. “Somewhere along the line I lost my best friend.”

“Louis...” Niall said after a long moment of silence. “I don’t think you realize how much you hurt him.”

“I didn't mean to! I never wanted to hurt him!” Louis protested. He hadn’t intended to hurt Harry. He had been hurt too! Sometimes, it felt like people forgot that part.

“You need to talk to him. That’s my advice for you. But there is one thing...” Niall’s voice hardened.

“Yeah?”

“I love him Louis... and I won't let him go.” Niall confessed his feelings truthfully. He wanted there to be no confusion between him and Louis.

“I don't want you to Niall.” Louis wasn’t surprised. Not really. Harry was so easy to love. So was Niall. Louis could see how good they would be together. There would be less of the intensity that had felt so good, but in the end had been what destroyed them.  “I know you love him. I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Okay.... good.” Niall said. Relief evident in his voice. “Now... go out there. I'll stay in here for a bit so it doesn't looked like we talked.”

“Thanks mate.” Louis laughed. Niall was always looking out for them in his own way. He hung up his phone and went back out, opting to just sit in Zayn’s lap instead of fighting for a spot in front of the computer. “So... is this the little Styles now?”

Zayn slid an arm around Louis’s waist, anchoring him down. If he was surprised at Louis’s choice of seating, he didn’t show it. They watched as Harry smiled brightly and nodded, holding Jamie up to the camera again.

“This is Jamie, Uncle Lou!”

Louis smiled and waved at the baby. Honestly, Jamie was too damn cute. Just like his dad really.

“Hey sweetheart! All these tossers are wrong, my lad. I’m the best uncle.” He met Harry’s eyes and said with all sincerity. “We’re ALL behind you mate. Trust me. Whatever you need.”

Harry choked up and nodding, pulling Jamie against his chest. “Thanks Louis… All of you. Thank you.” He looked up when Niall walked back in, leaning in when he placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

Liam smiled and nodding. “What do you need Harry?”

“Right now...? I just need Management to know this isn't negotiable. I'm trying to get all his paperwork in order to bring him home.” Harry knew everything would be so much easier with the support of the band behind him.

“We could get them to give us the private jet and come and get you boys when it's time. But, you better tell them sooner rather than later.” Louis interjected.

“Don't worry.” Niall replied, smiling at them. “We will. I'll be right behind him.” He squeezed Harry’s shoulder gently. “Right babe?”

Harry relaxed into the touch. “I'll call them tomorrow. The papers will be officially filed then.”

“We're here for you if you need to talk to us guys.” Zayn said from over Lou’s shoulder, his chin resting there.

Harry smiled, so relieved and happy. “I know. I appreciate it. I'm trying to get his papers expedited... but I'm too sure how long it will take. I'll call Management tomorrow.” He reached for his dummy when Jamie fussed, too tired for all the excitement anymore.

Louis reached Zayn’s hand, the poignant sight of Harry taking care of his son so gently, making him need the contact. Not knowing how to react to all this, he fell back on teasing them.

“It's cute how you and Niall have made a little family.” He might have aimed the dig at Niall, pleased to see the flush light up Niall’s pale face.

“Why?” Niall aimed right back. “Jealous?”

Louis laughed, pleased when Zayn threaded their fingers together. “No. Amused.”

Harry felt the need to defend Niall. “Niall has been amazing. I keep telling him he can go home, but he won’t leave.” He reached out and gripped Niall’s hand, so very glad he hadn’t left him.

Liam decided it was time to intercede, laughing softly. “You know that if you two need us… you only have to call, right?”

“Damn straight.” Zayn said firmly. “And don't let management bully you. I'll smack them straight.”

Louis smiled, vowing silently to protect them anyway he could. “You boys call if you need anything, right?”

“Yeah.” Came Harry’s reply. “Love you guys. Thanks for this. I know... It's been weird this past year, but I want to make it right. I miss you. All of you.”

“Hey.” Liam said gently. “We'll stop it. They won't split us up and we'll stop pulling apart, okay? All of us.” He looked at each one of them, giving and getting a solemn, silent promise in return. “We're starting over, together.”

Niall nodded and squeezed Harry’s hand. “We'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you.”

Harry waited for the replies of love and well wishes from all around, then smiled softly at his four best friends. The four people closest to him. “I love you guys. We’ll call you tomorrow.” He gave them one last happy smile before shutting off the computer, feeling better now that he had his boys at his back.


	5. hope your heart is strong enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry get unexpected help. He and Niall get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was difficult to write. Partially because I've been super busy with school and life in general. I have papers and exams this week and next. So, I hope not to slow down too much. Makenai and I have also started a side one-shot for Niall's birthday! Hope to have it put up by the 13th in honor of Niall. It's also my anniversary too, so... I have to make my husband the priority that day. He's been awfully chill about the One Direction obsession. I must reward him for it! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thank you beautiful people so much for reading and all the great things you say about it! We love you all!

 

He wanted to do this part alone. So he found a quiet space in the hotel. He had spent most of the night trying to figure out how to speak to management. In the end, he had decided to go to someone he knew could either help, or shut him down completely. So, he called Simon Cowell.

“Harry.” Simon said as he answered promptly. “I've been expecting your call. A few days later than expected.”

“You've been expecting my call?” Harry felt a moment of panic. It’s possible he had been photo’d without his knowledge. The pictures could have been leaked or even someone of knowledge had been bought.

“Harry, contrary to belief, I do care about you five and your welfare. The fact that Niall suddenly booked a flight to New York was a red flag.”

“Oh... yeah... so…” Harry felt a little sheepish at assuming all those bad things.  “That's all you know right? I've tried to be quiet. I didn't want to leak this press. I know you don't manage us personally, you're too busy, but I don't think the team is going to be too happy with me Simon.”

Simon was quiet for a while on the other end. Harry knew he was probably trying to absord and decipher what Harry was saying.

“Harry,” He said. “It’s alright. Just tell me what it is.”

“You think it would get easier saying this…” Harry took a deep breath and calmed himself down.  He centered himself and tried to explain about Jamie and Emilia and the situation he was in. He told the truth and made it simple. Simon never appreciated prevarication. He liked it when people were honest and to the point.

“The truth is Simon, He’s mine. I’m not giving him up.” Harry heard a long sigh, Simon didn’t say anything. But, Harry could hear the shuffling of feet the sound of a pop of a cork before the splash of liquid. He spared of a moment of amusement and having driven Simon Cowell to drink so early in the morning.

“Will you be leaving the group?” Came the very serious tone over the line.

Harry was quick to refute that. “No. I offered but they said no. Niall is with me. I told the lads and they all agree to have me stay. I thought... he could go with us. Like Lux goes with Lou.”

“You realize this might hurt your fan base?”

“Yeah. I know. But we've had a lot of fans stay loyal to us through a lot. We've made mistakes and most of them still love us.” Harry sighed, he wished he could just make everyone see how important this was to him. “Simon… I've played the game. I haven't dated men because I was told not to. I've been on every stupid date with every celebrity I've been thrown with. I've smiled and laughed it off when I've been used for fame and mocked intentionally... I've never complained. But, this is my kid, yeah? I can't let this be covered up too. I'd have no self-respect left.”

“That's what I wanted to hear.” Harry could practically hear the satisfaction and amusement in Simon’s voice. “I will back you Harry. I'll be there when you speak to the management team.”

Harry felt weak with relief. He had hoped Simon would help him. Now that he had offered his help. Harry felt like crying. Simon could talk sense into management. He could make them agree to help.

“Thanks Simon. I was really hoping I could count on you. I'm waiting on Jamie's papers. But, they are rushing them for me. We've been laying low for now... But, I'm just worried someone at the hotel will sell us out.”  

Simon chuckled. “Don't worry about that. I'll make sure that is taken care of.”

“Thanks Simon. I’ll be sure to invite you to his birthday parties.” Harry smiled.  

“I will be sure to come. I expect a picture of him soon.”

“Of course! Niall has been going camera crazy, ready to post things on Instagram but I won't let him. Not yet.” Has had to stop himself from posting pics of Jamie as well. “I'll send you a picture. Thank you for everything Simon.”

“I know I don't say this much to a lot of you, but when you five came together that day... I knew great things were going to come from you.”

“We couldn't have done it without you. Bye Simon.”

Harry rang off and smiled, moving quietly through the hotel. He avoided any high traffic areas, not wanting to be scene. He felt incredibly lucky so far. Part of him keeps waiting for the bad thing. The shoe. The anvil that drops on you. He had a beautiful son and loyal friends. And Niall. He had Niall.

He smiled at the thought of his friend. Niall had always been the one that could cheer Harry up. After Louis, Harry needed that more than ever. Opening the door, Harry melted at the sight before him. Niall was laying on his back on the couch, his hands anchoring Jamie’s little body that was curled up on Niall’s stomach.

He wished they could go out. Do something fun? Like the zoo or park. But, he couldn’t risk it yet. He took out his phone and took a picture. Grinning, he sent it to his mum and all the lads. _‘Aren’t they adorable?!’_ He texted.

His mum just sent a bunch of emoticons. Liam wrote something barely legible that might have been ‘ _soooooooo cutttttttttttttttttttttttttttt’_ and Lou sent said it was lovely. It was Zayn’s text that stopped him, making his heart jump and his chest ache.

_‘Awww…. He makes such a cute daddy!’_

Harry blushed, looking at Niall, realizing he honestly was Jamie’s dad in a way. ‘ _I’m not the mummy.’_

The reply came quickly. _‘:p you goof! FINE. You can be Daddy. He can be Da.’_

The chest ache came back. He couldn’t stop smiling as he replied one more time. _‘I can live with that…’_

Harry walked over to kneel beside Niall, reaching out to stroke his hair off his forehead. He loved Niall’s hair when it was all soft. He looked so calm and peaceful right now. It made Harry want to crawl inside him. Claim that peace as his own.

“Hey. You awake?”

Niall opened his blue eyes slowly, smiling softly at Harry. “Mmm… How long have I been out?”

“About an hour.” Harry smiled, speaking softly and low. “You know, if you wanted to go out and do something… you could. You don’t have to stay cooped up with us, Niall.”

“I'm happy where I am.” Niall looked down and Jamie, the little boy stirring on his chest. “Isn't that right Jamie?”

Harry laughed as Jamie blinked huge green eyes at Niall. The baby lifted his little hand, patting at Niall’s face with a baby giggle.

“He loves you.” Harry said. “He’s getting so attached.” He slid a gentle hand along Jamie’s back, rubbing him gently. He didn’t mind really. He’d happily share his son with Niall.

“I'm okay with that.” Niall answered with a smile, leaning down and rubbing his nose lightly against Jamie’s. They both laughed at Jamie’s answering squeal, his chubby hand tangling in blond fringe.

Harry smiled and leaned his head on Niall’s chest, kissing Jamie’s hands and face.

“Niall… you’ve been so amazing.”

“I'll always be here for you Harry.” Niall reached out to run his fingers gently through Harry’s curls. “Believe that, yah?”

“Yeah... I believe you.” Harry said with a soft sigh. “I called Simon while you were asleep.”

The only sign of Niall’s worry was the short hesitation in the stroking of his hair.

“How did he take it?”

Harry turned his head on Niall’s chest, smiling up at him. “He said he supports us. That he would help.”

Niall and Harry both silently acknowledge the ‘we’. Harry had implied that they were in this together. They were. Niall smiled and tugged a curl playfully.  

“That's good, Harry. He's a good man, despite what the public says about him.”

“Well… They only know what the media gives them

Harry heaved a frustrated sigh, burying his face in Niall’s stomach.

“I hate that they make us out to be something we're not.” He said with a low growl. “They say things like Louis is mean... Liam is a drunk... Zayn is a pothead. They act like you never take anything serious and that all I do is shag everything that walks by. It makes us all seem so shallow... Louis is loyal. He might sometimes be mean, but he will always have my back. Zayn is just a calm person, Liam drink sometimes, yeah, but we all do. And you take a lot of things seriously.” 

Niall sat up, dislodging Harry and sliding Jamie unto his knee, bouncing him lightly. He could see how serious the conversation was becoming and being distracted by Harry nuzzling his stomach and bringing a whole new emotion to the discussion.

“And you're loyal and kind. You've never said a mean thing to anyone.” Niall needed to point this out. Because sometimes, Harry’s biggest critic was himself.

“I've wanted to…” Harry commented, he rose and settled beside Niall, leaning into his side and reaching out to caress Jamie’s head.  “I have. I’ve wanted to say things to paps for pushing the fans or for asking really mean questions. I wanted to hate Louis for a while. But it wasn't his fault he didn't want me... I wanted to scream nasty things at Taylor... Paige... all those girls that used me or humiliated me. But, I just thought... That would make it all worse. Nothing would fix it. So, I sat silently.”

“Well, I'll do it for you.” Niall smiled and looked at him. “I don't mind being the ass hole. You're my best mate. You and the others. Zayn. Louis. Liam. I'll protect you all. No matter what happens, I'll always stand by you.”

Harry felt blown away. He just smiled and laid his head on Niall’s shoulder, snuggling Jamie in between them. He wanted to cry. Niall’s loyalty and desire to protect him hit him like a punch to the gut. Never had he felt more loved and accepted than right now.

“I like that you are willing to. But if you do that... they will just separate us or something. Say you need to be nicer. But I'll protect you too, yeah?”

“They won't separate us babe. They wouldn't like me if they did.” Niall knows that most people considered him a pushover. But, he wasn’t. He had a temper and he’d use it if they tried to take Harry away. He was very loyal and would go down fighting. He had seen what doing that caused. Harry and Louis were still trying to find a way back to being friends again.

Harry just laughed and smiled at him. Niall was hit with a desire to taste that smile, but he held back.

“I'll fight it this time.” Harry said softly. “Last time I gave Louis his space, did what they wanted and it just never snapped back into place. I won’t do that this time. I can’t lose you.”

Niall pulled him closer, hugging him tight.

“You won’t. I promise that.”

Harry smiled at him, the moment seeming to freeze for them both. It was broken with the sounds of a grumpy baby, making noises that they could decipher now. Niall laughed and kissed Jamie’s head.

“Hungry then, my man?” He chuckled as Jamie squealed and reached for his hair. He loved to touch Niall’s blond fringe. He caught the look of absolute love and adoration in Harry’s eyes that were directed at Jamie. Harry leaned in and kissed Niall’s cheek, then Jamie’s, his eyes sparkling with emotion.

“I’ll get his bottle.” Harry says as he stands, moving towards the bar area.

“Thanks love.” Niall let the endearment slip without realizing. He was distracted by the baby on his lap, blowing raspberries to make him giggle and writhe. It had comes out naturally.

Harry stopped, flushing brightly as the word hit him. He put a hand to his stomach to calm the sudden rush of butterflies. He could see that Niall had no idea he had even said that. Quickly, turning away, Harry continued with his task.

“No problem. You are practically main parenting these days.” Harry laughed softly, not meaning anything bad with that. “You want me to take him?”

“Of course. He’s your son.” Niall flushed in embarrassment and handed him over. “I haven’t meant to monopolize him.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry frowned at Niall, sitting down again and arranging Jamie in a comfortable feeding position.  “Niall... I don't think you've been monopolizing him. I don't know what I would have done without you here.”

“But this is an important bonding time for you two...”

Harry felt his insides hollow out. He looked down at Jamie, holding him closer. He was bonding with him. He loved Jamie so damn much, the thought of not having him anymore took his breath away. But, nothing Niall did with Jamie could take away from that.

“What’s wrong with him bonding with you too..?”

“Nothing…” Niall felt his face blush, his heart starting to race. He put a hand gently on Jamie’s hair.

“I don’t mind.” Harry smiled at him. He felt a little like being on the edge of a cliff, the choice to back away or jump in front of him. So, he jumped. “I like sharing him with you.”

Niall wanted to say something, anything. Harry had just offered to share his child. All Niall wanted to do was offer to share his entire world with Harry Styles. Beg him to never leave. Niall opened his mouth to say it. But, Harry broke the silence with flushed cheeks.

“It will take about three weeks or so for the papers to come in. Hopefully quicker if we can arrange it.”

“That’s good…” Niall stammered, completely thrown off by the sudden change in topic. Wondering if he just imagined the intense emotional moment. “I bet the others are looking forward to meeting their nephew.”

He had to get at least some of this out. Reaching out, his cupped Harry’s cheek, urging his face up.

“Hey Harry… Look at me?”

Harry raised his eyes to Niall’s, stopping himself from nuzzling into his palm. “Yeah?”

“I'll always be here for you and Jamie. I want to always be in his life...”

“Niall…” Harry found it hard to breath for a moment. “You will Niall. I would never stop being your friend or tell you that Jamie couldn't be around you.”

“Good.” Niall gave into the urge to slide his arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him against his chest and just watch him feed Jamie. Content to sit close and be part of this odd little family they had.  

“Niall… I really couldn't have done this without you, babe. I wish I could make it all up to you somehow.” Harry’s soft words rose up between them.

“You don't have to do anything Harry. Just be yourself.”

“I think I can do that.” He laughed softly. “I think that I'm going to have a bath. I'm going to take Jamie with me. Okay?” Harry felt like they could probably both use the space from all this sudden intensity between them.

“Sure. I'm going to go grab something for dinner. What sounds good?”

“Anything sounds brilliant!” Harry leaned in and kissed his cheek, pulling away quickly, hiding a blush by burying his face in Jamie. Standing, he made his way to the bathroom. “You know what I like, yeah?”

“Yeah...” Niall touched the cheek Harry had just kissed. It wasn’t the first time, but it felt like so much more suddenly. He watched him go, fighting the urge to follow him.

“Be safe!” Harry called as he ducked into the bathroom. His heart was beating so hard. He told himself that he was being ridiculous and going down that road again was not only stupid, but dangerous. He and Louis barely spoke now. It would absolutely gut him if that happened with him and Niall. It had taken him YEARS to get over Louis. If he lost Niall, he didn’t think he’d ever recover. He was certain of that

Looking down at Jamie, Harry could see that the baby had picked up on the tenseness by the confused frown on his face. He laughed and kissed the tiny nose that looked so much like his mums.

“Okay little monkey. I know. Daddy is being silly.” He settled Jamie down on a towel beside the tub while he worked to get the water running and their clothes off. He found himself talking to Jamie while getting them into the bath.

“Uncle Zayn is a very bad man for making Daddy think weird things about Da… I mean Uncle Niall… Uncle Zayn is not funny.”

He settled back in the tub, bringing his knees up to make a rest for Jamie. He enjoyed these moments. Where he could play and be with Jamie. He laughed and tickled him playfully, watching Jamie squeal excitedly and bash his tiny fists in the water.

It was sometimes later that he was aware of the logistics failure of his plan. They were getting pruny and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to finish his own bath and dry and clean Jamie at the same time.

“Well… Daddy did not think this through, Monkey.” He let out a sigh of relief when the door opened. Niall must have rushed when getting dinner.

“Harry? Jamie? I’m back!”

Harry laughed as Jamie’s excitement and baby noise got even greater at the sound of Niall’s voice.

“We’re still in here. I have a problem. I didn’t think this through completely…”

There was the sound of bags being set down and Niall’s concerned face came through the door. “What didn't you think through?”

“I can't get clean and hold onto him too.” He shrugged, feeling a little sheepish. “Can you take him and dry him off for me real quick?”

Niall just chuckled and grabbed a towel. “Sure.” He lifted Jamie and wrapped him up, smiling at the infant. “Did you have fun little man?”

Jamie just reached for Niall’s face like he always did, smiling so brightly. Niall’s heart filled up with love, he leaned in and nuzzled their nose together lovingly.

“You had fun with Daddy, didn’t you?”

Harry watched them together, those damn butterflies swamping back through his stomach. “Thanks Niall. I’ll be right out.”

Niall nodded and smiled. “Okay. I’ve got Greek. So, don’t take too long.”

Harry slid down into the water with groan once they were gone. He was screwed. Absolutely screwed. Because he was pretty sure that he was falling in love with Niall.


	6. Even if you scream and shout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is tired of being hounded for answers, so he decides to go hide with Zayn. No one ever makes Zayn answer questions. It was really unfair, if you think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry it took so long for this chapter. We've both been slammed with Real Life. College is tough sometimes. So, this is the sixth chapter. But, it's actually more of an interlude with Zouis! I promise to have more Narry up very soon! I hope you enjoy this. You have all been amazing with your comments and kudos! It really makes me excited to keep going.

Louis was bone achingly tired of fielding calls from family and management about what Harry and Niall were up to in New York. What the hell did Management think? They practically told Louis and Harry to stay away from each other and then all of a sudden, Louis is supposed to know every time Harry takes a wee?! Bullshit. Utter bullshit.

Louis sighed, he couldn’t take it anymore and just needed out. So, that’s how he found himself at Zayn’s door at arse o’ clock in the morning, beanie pulled down low and vibrating with manic energy. He knocked sharply and loudly on the door. He suspected he’d need to wake Zayn.

His theory was proven correct a few moments later when Zayn opened the door. He looked delicious. He always looked delicious, though and Louis tried to reign himself in. He could usually ignore the cheekbones and smoldering eyes, but he’s always a bit fucked when Zayn is sleep disheveled and looking just sexed.

Zayn was standing in the open doorway, his eyes dark and slow. Lou’s eyes slid down over his uncovered chest, down to the track pants hanging low off his hips.

“Hey babe…” Zayn’s voice was even more accented and husky from sleep. “What’s up?”

“Zayn… Zee… babe…. Are you sleeping…? AGAIN? Do you hibernate?”

Zayn grinned and reached out, fingers curling around Lou’s wrist and pulling him inside the house. “No… though that would be amazing.”

Louis laughed and followed him inside. He waved his bag of fish and chips from the all night shop and a six pack of beer. He set the offering down on the table and turned to Zayn with a smirk.

“And how long have you been asleep this time?”

“I don’t know… 7 pm?” Zayn shrugged. “Does it matter?”

Zayn grabbed the bags and carried them up to his bedroom. He may be awake but he still liked his bedroom the most.

“You. Are a terrible person.” Louis said, following him blindly. He stopped and looked around when Zane dropped onto his bed. “Why are we in your bedroom? Stop being lazy.”

Zayn snorted and patted the bed. “I’m on vacation. What I do with it is my own business. I like sleep. I don’t get it on tour. You know that.”

“That’s true…” Louis said with a sigh, flopping down onto the bed beside him. “I’m going to eat in your bed then. It will be your fault.”

“Watch the crumbs then.” Zayn reached over and grabbed his share, leaning back against the headboard and putting on the telly for background noise. “So… what’s the visit for then?”

“You’ve turned your phone off, haven’t you, you little shit?” Louis savagely bit into a chip. “Harry told Simon. The powers that be the call to leave off Harry and Niall, so they’ve taken to ringing me over and over again. I’m sure if you had your phone on, they’d be all over you too.”

Zayn frowned and grabbed his phone. He turned it back on and saw message after message from their handlers. The messages ranged from begging and cajoling to almost threatening. Zayn snorted and tossed his phone back down with a shrug.

“Well… we knew this would happen when Harry broke his silence.” He grabbed a piece of fish and pulled a beer out for them both. “I’m surprised that Simon was so understanding.”

“I think people still expect us to die out soon… Critics and all the bigwigs.” Louis sighed, taking a drink of his beer. “Like… people will just stop liking us.”

Zayn looked at him, serious and quiet. “We’re not going to be on top forever. The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync weren't.”

“No. But, we never wanted to be them, right?” Lous sighed and put the food away. “I hate existentialism. I hate being a grown up.”

Zayn laughed and shrugged at him. “I don't really care what others think. As long as Harry is happy, who gives a shit?” He leaned his back against the headboard.

“Well... We all aren't engaged to beautiful Perrie Edwards mate.” Louis avoided looking at Zayn, leaning back beside him. “Some of us have to worry about our lives after One Direction. But, yeah... I want him happy. He deserves that.”

In some ways, the least that Louis can do is support Harry. He didn’t want the guilt. He knew Harry kept the guilt as well. But, every time Louis heard a song Harry wrote, he acutely aware of just who messed up the most. So, lost in his own guilt, he almost didn’t notice Zayn’s intense reaction to Perrie’s name. Why would he suddenly tense up like that?

“What? What happened?” He asked with a frown in Zayn’s direction.

Zayn was silent for a long time, then he sighed. “Louis… Perrie was just a beard.”

What. The. Hell. Louis just stared at him. Perrie was Zayn’s BEARD?! ZAYN WAS GAY?! How did Louis miss this?!

“What?!” He actually hadn’t mean to shout that. But, Zayn didn’t answer. He just finished his food, getting up to throw everything away.

“Where you ever going to tell us?! Does anyone at all know?! I mean… everyone knew about Harry. Me. But, you Zayn… Fuck! Does PERRIE even know?!”

Zayn finally broke his silence. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Yes Louis! Perrie knew! _Perrie_ was getting something out of it too, ya know!”

Louis raked a hand through his hair, sighing. “Shit… Fuck… Zayn… Why didn’t you tell us?”

“What fucking good would it have done saying anything?!” Zayn was actually pissed now. “You would have felt sorry for me! I didn’t want that!”

“Feel sorry for you?!” Louis took exception to that. “I wouldn’t have! I would have been there for you! Like a _friend_ should be!”

“And what about you?” Zayn cut right to the heart, as usual, with his quietly spoken challenge.

Louis snapped his mouth shut, flushing in a mixture of shame and anger. “I don’t know what you are talking about…”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about Louis. This all stems from Harry.”

Louis exploded out of the bed, furious. His entire body was taut as he whirled to face Zayn. “Why is everyone bringing that up all the time?! I fucked up! I was nineteen! Harry was barely sixteen! What was I supposed to do?!”

Zayn shook his head, glaring at him. “I've never brought it up. But, you could have sat him down and talked to him. Explain to him what the idiot brigade was forcing you to do. But you didn’t do that Louis.  What you did was pull away without a word. Threw yourself into your relationship with Eleanor acting like nothing happened between you two.”

“So what?! A few kisses and flirting makes for a forever kind of love!?” Louis can’t admit that he panicked. Harry had made him panic and he reacted from the gut.

“You're really good at lying to yourself mate.” Zayn gave him a sad smile, relaxing his stance and climbing back into his bed. “Are you that afraid of falling in love with someone?”

“I'm not! I loved Eleanor...” He had loved her. He had loved Harry too. Sometimes, he was terrified of it. But, the truth was, he had never been IN love with anyone. Harry came closest. “I just... bloody hell Zayn... you know how Harry is. He's so... intense.”

“So instead of telling him that, you just took off.” Zayn gave him a pained look. He couldn’t seem to get Louis to understand. “Louis… do you know how much that hurt him? And how much that hurt you in the process?”

“You think I don't know Zayn?! You think I don't see his disappointed looks and hear it in the songs he writes..?” Louis felt sick, he almost hated Zayn for making him deal with this. He slid his arms around himself, needing comfort, but not wanting to go to Zayn for it. “For fucks sake, mate.. Every song he writes it about it... I did that Zayn! I broke him... and I can't stand it. I didn't mean to... But, I couldn't love him like he deserves to be loved. I can't love anyone like that...”

Zayn was silent for a long moment. He stared at Louis incredulously. Louis didn’t think he could love anyone? Zayn sighed and patted the bed beside him. “Come here babe.”

Louis felt overwhelmed at the sudden expunging of everything he had been holding inside. He felt his shoulders sag and climbed into the bed beside Zayn. “I did love him… But, he terrified me. God, Zayn. He was too intense. Too much. And now… I miss him. I miss my friend. I see him laughing with Niall and I’m jealous. I miss him. I don’t miss Harry my boyfriend. I miss Harry me best mate.”

Zayn reached out and pulled him against his chest. He slid his hand into Louis’s hair. “I know Lou…”

“I’m a right arse…” Louis buried his face in Zayn’s chest, arms wrapping around Zayn’s waist.

Zayn laughed and kissed his hair, pulling him closer. “You are, But we all still love you. I still love you.”

“I love you too.” Louis laughed a little, then looked up at him with a sober expression. “I won’t tell anyone about you and Perrie…”

“Thanks mate. I'd appreciate that.” Zayn smiled and kissed his forehead, feeling like a weight was off his chest.

“Eleanor broke up with me... A while back. She's been keeping up appearances for me so I don't have to deal with things.” He confessed to Zayn, wanting things to be open between them.  

“Thats nice of her. To keep helping you out.” Zayn ran his fingers through Louis’s hair, calming them both.

Louis felt himself melting into Zayn. “You know we'd never judge you... right?”

“I know.”

“As long as you know that.”

“I do Louis. I do.”

“Good.”

Zayn smiled and closed his eyes, laying back and relaxing. Louis sprawled over him. They both felt so much lighter and freer. But, Louis once again felt something clawing itself out of him. He finally broke the silence with one last confession. Though, the confession was not his own.

“Niall is in love with Harry.”

“Yeah.” Zayn smiled, not bothering to open his eyes. “He’s rubbish at hiding it.”

Louis laughed. “Harry is an oblivious idiot.”

“So are a lot of people.” Zayn finally slit his eyes open, smiling at Louis.

Louis sighed. “He was actually afraid I’d try and take Harry away.”

“Yeah. But you know something...” Zayn slid his hand down Louis’s back. “Niall is good for him. Did you see how he was with Jamie?”

“Yeah... It wasn't ever like that for me. I told him that. I want to try and fix things between Harry and Me.” Louis slid his arm around Zayn’s side, his palm resting over his heart. “But he and Niall would be good for one another.

You should talk to him Lou. Harry.  I think he'd be willing to listen now.”

“Hope so.” Louis fell silent for a bit, lost in his own thoughts. He could feel Zayn drifting off again. “So... I'm staying here tonight. I'm hiding with you.”

Zayn laughed. “Sure babe. I'm ready for a nap.”

Louis laughed, pinching his chest lightly. “You are always ready for a nap.”

“Especially when I have someone to cuddle with.” Zayn grinned and pulled him firmly into his side.

Louis groaned, but buried his face into Zayn’s neck. He really liked cuddling, but couldn’t just say that and make it easy for everyone. He felt Zayn’s fingers card back into his hair and could hear the amusement rolling off Zayn. "You are an utter child..." He let out a snort and sighed dramatically. "Fine. I guess we can cuddle."

“Yay…” Came the sarcastic reply from the man underneath him.

Louis couldn’t let that slide. So, he pressed in and bit his neck. “No sass from you!”

Zayn yelp and grabbed his sides, tickling him in retaliation.

“Behave Malik!” Louis yelped and slapped at is hands, trying to wiggle away.

“You started it Tomlinson!” Zayn pinned him to the bed, straddling Louis’s hips, grinning down at him. He ran his fingers along all the sensitive spots on Louis’s sides. They had all spent time learning one another’s weak spots.

Louis wiggles helplessly, grabbing at Zayn’s hands. “Stop!! ZAYN!”

Zayn slid their fingers together, laughing along with Louis. He was half collapsed over him. It was nice to act silly and just be together. Louis and Niall were the only ones who would play though. Especially Louis.

He looked down, taking in Louis’ flushed face and grinning mouth. He met bright blue eyes and felt fingers tighten on his. The moment became electric. Suddenly, all the air in the room seemed to be too thin neither Zayn nor Louis could draw a deep breath.

Zayn’s heart rate picked up, his thumb sliding slowly across Louis’s knuckles. “Louis…”

Louis shivered, his breath hitching.  He could feel the rush of want and heat between them. But, Christ, he wasn’t ready for it. He broke their hold on one another and smiled. “Zayn… babe. Let’s sleep, yeah?”

For a moment, it seemed like Zayn would push it. He waited a long moment, before nodding and sliding to the side. He lay back down and pulled Louis back into their original position. It was as if the last few minutes had not happened.

Louis went in easily, curling up into Zayn’s side. He would fix this. He would fix this shit between him and Harry. Then he’d figure out what was going on between him and Zayn. He’d never lose another friend because he couldn’t control himself and his fears.

“It’s going to be okay…” Zayn flicked the lights off, his voice already sleepy, his touch soft and gentle.

“I know. Sweet dreams, Zee.” Louis slid his arms back around him, stroking along the inside of Zayn’s arm. He laid there for a bit, Zayn drifting into sleep. He reached out to the nightstand and flicked his own phone off. It wouldn’t hurt to let the world fall away for a bit.

Louis slid his hand up Zayn’s chest and drifted off, comforted and content.


	7. I will hold you closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have finally gotten back to London. They are met with a surprise at Harry's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has brief mentioning of religion. Specifically Muslim and Catholic. It's very short and I just wanted it to be known that I do not oppose anyone's religious beliefs. My husband is Catholic. I just think that it would be especially hard for people in those two religions to come to terms with being homosexual. But, I hope it doesn't offend anyone. Because that would never be my intention. Please don't hesitate to comment and let me know what you think!

 

 

Harry was exhausted. Flying across the Atlantic was tough enough. Flying across the Atlantic with an infant was immeasurable torture. He and Niall were exhausted. Even with Simon sending a private jet and security for them, it was still tiring. They realized shortly into the flight that Jamie hated flying. He had screamed the entire time. He had finally stopped crying when the plane landed, but was still fussy.

Harry tried to juggle a whiny baby and unlock his door at the same time. Niall stood behind him with all their luggage. Setting the carrier down, Harry lifted Jamie out, he could hear him gearing up to scream again. So, with a baby in his arms, he fought to unlock his door.

“Bloody hell…” He was so tired and just wanted to kick his door down. To his surprise it was pulled open swiftly, a grinning Liam standing there. Harry blinked at him, he could see Zayn and Louis peering around Liam.

Jamie had stopped whining as well. He looked with wide eyes at the new people. Harry could see the confusion and shock on his tiny little face. It seemed like everyone was staring at one another for a long moment until Liam broke the silence.

“Well… give us the lad then!” He grinned and swooped in, taking Jamie and cooing at him. “hellooooooo my little friend~ It’s Uncle Li!”

Niall shook his head and looked at Louis and Zayn. “How did you get in here?”

Louis disappeared back into the house while Zayn helped Niall and Harry bring in their things. Niall set everything down just inside the living room. They were too tired to get to unpacking tonight. They would get it tomorrow.

They could see Louis making the table and unpacking Nando’s takeaway for them. Suddenly Niall was starving and loved Louis very much. He could see Harry drop whatever bags he was holding and made his way to the table.

“That’s a good question.” Harry said, dropping into a chair tiredly.

“I got the key from Lou,” Said Louis, handing him water. “She says to call her. Lux has been asking after you.”

Harry smiled, taking the water. “I’ve been meaning to call her. You guys didn’t have to come over though…”

“We thought we’d meet you here. At least get some food into you both and maybe watch the baby if you need us to.” Louis wanted Harry and Niall to know they meant it when they said they’d help.

Harry meant to reply, he felt awed and humble by his friends and once again told himself that he would patch up their relationship. No matter what. “Thanks Louis…”

He would have said more but was distracted by Jamie crying and Zayn taking him gently from Liam.

“Li, babe… I know you’re excited, but he’s exhausted. Let’s get him some sleep.” Zayn cuddled the crying baby to his chest, but Jamie wouldn’t have it. He cried harder and held his hands out for Niall.

“Da da da da!” He babbled, not happy with all the newcomers and just wanting Niall to take him.

Niall slid Jamie into his arms and kissed his head. He rubbed his back in soothing circles. “Shh… it’s okay, love. I’ve got you. You can sleep now. I’ll watch over you.”

Harry smiled softly, watching them. He looked away and was surprised to find the other three staring at him. “Uh… sometimes, Niall is the only one who can calm him down.”

Louis looked at Liam and Zayn, then back and forth between Niall and Harry. He wasn’t sure how to say this, but felt like he needed the clarification.

“So… he’s calling Niall Daddy and you are okay with that?” Louis asked, fighting a smile. Harry was ridiculous. Really.

Harry frowned, he straightened his back. Suddenly he felt a little like he was being put on trial. “Yeah? So? The books all say that he’s too young to actually say anything. He’s just babbling. But, if he calls Niall Da, I don’t care. Niall is like a dad to him.”

“It’s okay Harry,” Liam said calmly, setting a soothing hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Louis wasn’t saying anything bad, yeah? We weren’t trying to get you upset.”

“I can speak for myself, Liam, but thank you.” Louis interject with a little laugh. He looked at Harry and smiled. “He’s right though. I didn’t mean anything bad by asking it. It’s all fine.”

“Harry, it’s alright.” Niall came up behind Harry and slid a hand along the back of his neck. He rocked a half-asleep Jamie in his arms. “We’re all tired. It’s been a long trip and a long few weeks.”

Harry sighed and stood up, nodding. He excused himself and headed through the open living area. “I’ll go set up his bassinet.” He disappeared up the stairs, needing a moment to collect his thoughts and using the excuse to get it.

Louis frowned and started to go after, but was stopped by Liam’s hand on his arm. He glared at Liam for a moment, silently asking him why he was stopping him.

“Leave him Louis… You know Harry needs quiet when he gets like this.” Liam let him go. “Let’s feed Niall, yeah? He’s probably dying for some Nando’s. Right mate?” He looked at Niall for help in backing him up.

Niall grinned and nodding. “I have. So much.” He sat down with Jamie sleeping against his chest. “We really appreciate this guys. It’s real nice of ya.”

Louis sighed and nodded. “I’ll just go get the beer then.” He turned and disappeared into the kitchen. Zayn giving the other two a look before following him.

Liam sighed and sat down with Niall, laughing a little. “So… How have you been?” He smiled wider when Niall just laughed.

“I’ve been good. It’s been crazy, but good.” He rubbed Jamie’s back gently, smiling. “How has everything been here?”

Liam gave him a serious look. “It’s good, but tense. Management is stalking all of us. Calling day and night. We’ll have to tell them all something soon. When word gets out that you two are back, it will be chaos.”

Niall nodded. “We’re working on a strategy.” He could hear Louis and Zayn speaking quietly in the kitchen. He hated when Louis and Harry were angry with one another.

Niall looked up as Harry came back down. He could see that Harry was a little calmer and gave him a slow smile. He stood to meet him. “Everything okay now?”

Harry nodded and smiled. He just needed a moment to breath. “Yeah... I can take him. I’ll put him to bed.” He took Jamie gently, the baby stirring slightly before sliding back into sleep, nuzzling into Harry’s chest. Niall watched as harry just smiled softly and kissed Jamie’s hair as he took him back upstairs.

Liam watched Niall. He could see how much Harry loved Jamie. But, the real emotion was in Niall’s face. Niall looked almost as if the sight before him was the face of God. Niall looked in love. Liam had known. Maybe somewhere deep he had known Niall’s feelings for Harry were more than friendly. But, looking at Niall’s face now, he knew. Niall was in love. Forever deep in love with Harry. He waited until Harry had disappeared and Niall had turned back to him.

“Have you told him yet?” He asked Niall in a soft voice.

Niall didn’t even pretend not to know what he was talking about. He smiled a little sadly and shook his head.  “Right now isn't the best time Li.... I will after things have calmed down.”

“Okay,” Liam said, reaching out and squeezing Niall’s hand. “I’m here if you need me, Niall. Don’t forget that… okay?”

“Thanks mate.” He looked up as Louis and Zayn come back in. He took the offered beer from Louis, popping it open and taking a swig. “Thanks Lou. I've been craving one of these.”

Zayn sat beside Liam, pulling in a plate and taking a drink of his own beer. “Not sleeping much, Ni?”

“No…” Niall smiled. “It’s okay though. It’s worth it. Jamie is worth it.”

They all looked up as Harry came back down. He smiled and sat in the chair beside Niall. He smiled gratefully as Louis handed him a beer and a plate filled with his favorites. “Thanks, Louis…”

“Hey. Always Curly.” Louis smiled and settled down and started on his own food. “How have things been?”

“He’s been sleeping longer and longer…” Harry stated in between bites of his food. “But, there was the adjustment of him being without his mother, then there is the long flight and he can tell we’re all tense…” He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

Liam smiled and chuckled at them. “Look at you Harry… so grown up and being a great Dad.”

Harry blushed, but Niall just smiled and slid an arm around Harry’s shoulder. He knew Harry was worried about Jamie and how he was settling in. He leaned in to whisper gently into Harry’s ear. “He’s going to be okay babe. Sit and relax. We’re finally home.”

Harry nodded, but sighed softly. “It’s hard.” He didn’t bother lowering his voice. He knew the others could hear them anyway. “I know it’s all beginning really.”

Niall shook his head and pulled Harry into a hug. “Things may get worse. But, I promise you… they will get better eventually.”

“The moral of this story is…” Louis interjected. “We’re not going anywhere. We are all in this together. So don’t get down Harold.” He smiled and reached out to ruffle Harry’s curls. Zayn and Liam making motions of assent.

Harry smiled and relaxed, pulling away to finish his food. “Thank you. You are the best mates a bloke could have.”

Niall sat back and ate. He couldn’t keep his eyes off Harry for long though. It was like a magnet to north. He had to look at him. He needed to see his eyes, his smile. Sometimes, he’d catch harry looking back and they would smile softly at each other.

Louis noticed the sneaky little glances between Harry and Niall. He could also see the dropping of Harry’s head. As soon as the food as finished and everything cleaned up, Louis gave Liam and Zayn a look. He nodded towards the door.

“Well… it’s quite late and you two look knackered. We’ll just fuck off now.” He said with a grin, moving to grab his things and put his shoes on.

“Yeah.” Zayn smiled, giving both Harry and Niall a hug. “We just wanted to make sure you boys get home safely.”

Niall smiled and hugged them all. “Thanks. We appreciate it.” He looked at Harry and saw him nodding in agreement.

“We just wanted to make sure you boys got home safely.” Came Zayn’s reply. He grabbed his jacket. “Let us know when you want to go to the bosses. We will be there with you.”

Louis nodded and gave them both a serious look. “We’ll be there. At the meeting. All of us together.”

Harry looked like he was ready to cry. He had been reminded a lot lately about just how much everyone cared for him and wanted to help. He smiled and nodded.

“Thanks. I seem to be saying that a lot… But, I also don’t feel like I’m saying it enough.” He laughed softly.

“You’ll be fine.” Zayn pulled him into a hug and patted his back.  “You have Niall beside you, yeah?” He threw a cheeky wink at Niall over Harry’s shoulder.

“Oi!” Niall said with a red face. “Get out of here. Harry needs his beauty sleep. He can’t go charming all the ladies when he looks so tired and sad.”

“Hey…” Harry poked Niall in retaliation. Then he turned to the other boys. “I’m sure Niall is getting sick of me. He’s likely ready to go home too.”

Liam just cleared his throat and looked to the others. Harry really was an idiot sometimes. “Well… we’ll see you tomorrow or sometime soon. Call us when you need us.” He gave Niall a long look before heading towards the door. Harry waving at them with a smile.

“We will.” Niall said, walking them to the door. “Don’t worry mate.”

Niall came back after seeing them off and looked at a weary Harry. “Want to go to bed then?”

Harry nodded, almost asleep on his feet. He looked at Niall for a long moment, then spoke softly. “Are you… staying?”

Niall stopped halfway to reaching for his coat. He hadn’t wanted to assume it was okay. Especially after Harry had said what he had about Niall going home. It was the mixed signals that was going to kill him he decided. He turned and looked back at Harry.

“Do you want me to?

Harry frowned slightly, like he was trying to find the right words. “Well… it’s late… and the car isn’t here anymore…”

Niall honestly thought about pushing it. About saying that Harry wasn’t answering the question. But, he knew when he shouldn’t push Harry. He had already had an emotional night. So Niall just nodded and smiled.

“I’ll stay. I want to make sure you and Jamie are okay.”

Harry grinned, relief at not having to give Niall up yet. He reached for him and tangled their fingers together. “Okay… Good. Let’s go then.”

Niall felt his heart flip and squeezed Harry’s fingers with a nod.

Harry led them up the stairs, stopping in to check Jamie once more before pulling Niall into the master suite. He let go of his hand and moved around to his bed. He stood looking down at the bed. Silently staring. Niall could see he was trying to get things right before saying them.

“I’m not mad at him.” Harry said finally, lifting his head to look at Niall. “I’m not mad or upset that Jamie thinks of you as a parent. It’s okay with me. You’ve been better with than I have anyway…” He let out a little laugh and turned away, pulling his shirt up and off.

Niall couldn’t let him end it like that. He moved closer and took Harry’s hand, turning him towards him. “Harry… you are going to be a great father. You just need to believe in yourself. You keep worrying that you are doing wrong.”

“I’m trying. I am.” Harry sighed and dropped to sit on the bed, gripping Niall’s hand as if it were a lifeline. “I'm not jealous. I just... don't want you to feel all this pressure...”

Niall moved in, standing in front of him. He watched Harry look anywhere but at him. Reaching out, Niall cupped his face and lifted it gently.

“Harry… I’m fine. I don’t feel pressured to be here at all. I _want_ to be here.” He could feel the weight in that one word. He wanted everything. All of it. With Harry.

Harry shuddered and sucked in a slow breath. The moment seemed charged between them. He nodded and swallowed, leaning in to rest his forehead against Niall’s stomach.

“I'm just tired and you know I get whiny when I'm tired... Come to bed?” He started to pull back, but stopped when Niall wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, keeping him in.

“Harry…” Niall lowered his head, speaking soft and sure. “I would do anything for you. Don’t you know that by now?”

“I know... I'd do the same for you too...” Harry shivered, his emotions scraped raw. He slid his arms around Niall’s hips and pulled him into a hug. God, he was so terrified. This could go so wrong. He really couldn’t lose Niall. Jamie couldn’t lose Niall. He pulled away and pushed Niall back carefully, not looking at him.

“On second thought… I’m going to shower.” He stood and moved towards the bathroom. He tried hard not to think about Niall being so close and warm. He took deep breaths, begging his body to calm down. He could feel and smell Niall on his heated skin.

Niall watched him go, smacking himself mentally for moving too fast. He should blame Liam for putting the idea in his head. His emotions went from anger to frustration. He was tired of this. Tired of walking around this. Harry HAD to know. He wasn’t an idiot.

His mind made up, Niall opened the door to the bathroom and moved in. He caught harry standing there, his jeans in his hands, tight boxer briefs that left little to the imagination all he had left on.

“Niall?” Harry looked up in surprise as Niall barged into the bathroom.

“We can’t keep doing this. This tiptoeing around.” Niall dragged his eyes back up to Harry’s, he really didn’t need to be distracted right now.

“I'm not...” Harry deflated a little, knowing they had to talk about it. “I just... I've been here before. I'm not sure what this is and I don't like where it always ends up.”

“You don't have to worry this time. It won't happen.” Niall stepped closer, his voice soft and earnest. “When are you going to trust me Harry?”

“I do trust you!” Harry’s head snapped up. He couldn’t let Niall think that. The problem wasn’t Niall. It was Harry. “Niall… I trust you more than anyone. It's me. I fuck it up. I want too much or not enough. I'm too intense or not intense enough. I'm the problem. Jamie needs you... I can't fuck anything up. Not this time. Not with you.”

“Harry.” Niall needed Harry to understand. To stop holding himself back. He took a step closer, stopping when Harry took a step back. “Harry. I'm so I love with Jamie I would never leave him.” He hesitated a moment, then looked into Harry’s eyes, laying it all on the line. “Just like I'm in love with you.”

Harry stilled, his heart hammering. His emotions swung wildly. He went from joy to terror and back again. Harry dropped back to rest on the counter, his legs unable to hold him up. “Niall… you… if you say that…”

“No.” Niall interrupted him, moving to stand inches in front of him. “Hear me out.” He took a deep breath and went all in. “I’ve been in love with you since the beginning. The first time I saw you smile and laugh. I was done for. It’s always been you Haz.”

Harry’s hands twitched as if to reach for him, his eyes stinging. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Niall… you always said you were straight.” He actually hadn’t meant to say that, but never could seem to control his mouth.

Niall sighed. “I only did because people feel the need to label. I love who I love. That’s how I see it.”

“I never labeled it...” Harry shook his head. “Sorry… I'm getting off topic. I just... I was surprised. I am surprised.”

“Why are you surprised?” Niall looked at him curiously. He wanted harry to be honest about his feelings. Even if it wasn’t the feelings he wanted to hear Harry having. If Harry looked at him and said he was still in love with Louis, Niall would be hurt, but he’d know.

“You never said anything.” Harry flushed softly.

“You were with Louis. He was all you saw.” Niall felt the sting of that time again. He had been supportive. But, it had hurt him to watch Harry and Louis.

“No… he wasn’t.”

“What do you mean Harry?” Niall pressed in closer, his entire body tense. He needed to know what Harry meant.

Harry was suddenly aware of how naked he was. He slid away from the counter and around Niall. Moving back into the bedroom, Harry pulled on a t-shirt and sat on the edge of the bed.

“It’s hard to explain.” Harry said with a sigh.

“It’s okay.” Niall walked over and sat beside him. “Take your time. I want to know.”

Harry took a deep breath and nodded. He took a moment to gather his thoughts and then turned to face Niall.

“I didn’t date all those people. You know? I didn’t. It was just dinner, or hanging out.” He waited for Niall’s nod. “But, the ones I did date. They always let me know how I let them down. I have bad luck, Niall. I’m either too intense or not intense enough. I’m going to let you down Niall. I don’t know if I can what anyone wants. But, the truth is… I noticed you. Before me and Louis got together. I saw you. And sometimes, I would think maybe you like me too… but then you’d tease and flirt with Liam or Zayn. Just the same as you did to me… I was confused.”

Niall listened to him, he knew that sometimes Harry rambled on. But, he also knew the trick to understanding what Harry was trying to say.

“First… I do know.” He smiled and ran a hand along Harry’s back. “I know that everything is blown out of proportion. But, as to the flirting… that’s all it was. Teasing. Liam is straight as a rod and Zayn dates girls to hide the fact that he’s arse over teakettle for Louis.”

Harry nodded, then frowned. He turned a confused face to Niall. “Zayn wants Louis?” He had a tendency to get focused on the wrong thing sometimes.

“Yeah… but he keeps it quiet. Especially with his religion being a factor. I had to deal with that too. Catholicism can be just as restricting in some ways.” Niall shrugged.

Harry sighed. “Sometimes… I am dumb.”

Niall just rubbed his back. “It’s okay Harry. I don’t noticed everything either. I just know because Zayn and I talked about it.”

Harry leaned into him, burying his face against Niall’s neck. “Give me time? I just… need to sort it out. In my head.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need, babe.” Niall pulled him close, hugging him tight.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Harry slid his arms around Niall’s waist. “Stay with me tonight. I’ve gotten used to you. I don’t know if I could sleep without you, now.”

Niall laughed and stroked his fingers through Harry’s curls. “You’ve gotten spoiled you mean.” He pressed a kiss to Harry’s head. “Of course I’ll stay.”

Harry pulled away with a soft laugh, crawling into the bed properly. “Yeah… you kick me in your sleep and you snore. But, it’s nice too.

Niall stood up and stripped down to his pants, crawling in beside Harry. “Well… you talk in your sleep.”

“I do not!” Harry laughed and relaxed, so happy to be in his own bed. “What do I say?”

“I thought you said you don’t…” Niall grinned and pulled Harry closer. Maybe he didn’t get a yes, but he was going to show Harry what saying yes could mean. If he smothered him with affection, Harry might see that Niall was never going to leave him.

“You just said I do!” Harry laughed sheepishly and curled up against him.

“You say my name. A lot. And you also talk about Jamie.” Niall sometimes watched him, wondering what he was dreaming of when he did that.

“Right... well... shut up then and sleep.” Harry blushed and laughed, so embarrassed at this information.

“Right then. Good night Harry.” Niall swooped in and pecked a kiss to the tip of Harry’s nose.

Harry reached out swiftly and pinched Niall’s nipple in retaliation. “Goodnight Niall!”

“Ow! You tosser!” Niall danced his fingers along Harry’s side, under his the hem of his shirt.

Harry laughed and yelped. He slapped at Niall’s hands. “Okay! Stop! It's time to sleep.”

They said their goodnights again, amidst giggles and whispers before Harry dropped off. Niall laid there quietly as he slept, feeling hopeful that Harry would truly believe his feelings someday.  

 


	8. You don't need to worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry tells the public about Jamie and Liam gives Sophia a bit of background on Harry and Louis's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So sorry about not updating the past few days. But, real life has killed me. I had papers due and tests to take. Also... Last night I went to ONE DIRECTION'S CONCERT! Oh man it was so much fun! I had a blast! But, I came home from New Orleans and got straight to work on this chapter for you! I hope you enjoy it! Much love!

Harry tried not to fidget or pace or tug at his hair. He knew Lou would likely kill him if he did the last one, but it was tempting. He leaned over to kiss Jamie’s head. He smiled as his son cooed and babbled at him from his Gran’s arms. Honestly, Harry was just too nervous to hold him.

“Harry…” Niall rubbed his back from beside him. “It’s going to be fine.”

“I know.” Harry gave him a little smile. “I hate interviews and this one… is pretty important.”

Zayn wrapped an arm around Harry’s back. “Don’t worry, babe. We’re all here for you.”

Harry leaned into him, taking a deep breath. “Thanks. I was afraid for a bit that I wouldn’t be able to continue with the band.”

“Never happen, mate.” Liam said firmly. “You are irreplaceable.”

Niall nodded. “Right. It’s all of us, or none of us.”

Louis laughed and threw himself into the group, hugging Harry and Niall. “Right you are Nialler! Musketeers all the way.”

Jamie squealed and kicked his little feet in excitement at them. He seemed to agree with the sentiment that his Daddy was freaking out for nothing.

“See?” Niall laughed. “Jamie agrees. Don’t you, Buddy?” He tickled Jamie’s feet, grinning at the squirms and wiggles.

Harry smiled at them and then looked at his mother. Anne smiled and kissed Jamie’s head. Harry was so glad she had come to support him. But, he suspects it was mostly so she could meet and dote on her grandson. She had been supportive, but worried throughout everything. He had convinced her not to fly to New York in the beginning. But, he was so glad she was here now.

“Harry... Darling... Go out there and be you. You and your boys will be fine.” Anne laughed and smiled brightly at them all. “You’ve done so well together, this far.”

“Right.” Harry flushed and nodded, he turned to smile at the lads. “Let’s go then, shall we?”

Harry waited for them to nod before walking out towards the set that management had set up. They had wanted Harry to hide it. But, Simon had called a meeting and persuaded them of the futility of hiding a child. So, they had agreed to let Harry and others to hold a small interview with one reporter to be given the exclusive. Harry didn’t want a huge production and he didn’t want a press conference. Make it small and quiet, and treat it seriously but not like the usual circus.

They made their way out to the set, the usual couch with two stools behind it. They had discussed it before hand and so Harry took the middle of the couch, Niall and Louis to either side, while Zayn and Liam pulled the stools in closer. They were fierce in the support and would defend Harry if necessary. Harry shook hands with the interviewer, an up and coming reporter from the BBC. He was glad they hadn’t chosen someone just as famous or even worse, Nick. He didn’t need Nick and Louis’s thinly veiled hate right now.

The young man smiled at them. He had the same smile and ingratiating manners that all reporters and journalists seem to have. He shook their hands and sat in front of them.

“Hello…My name is Michael Trevors. I would like to say it’s an honor to be given this exclusive. Thank you allowing me in. If there is anything you wouldn’t like to answer, just let me know and we can skip over it. No pressure.”

Harry just smile, but inwardly he laughed. He knew they would ask really probing questions. It was their job to try and get the questions answered. He could respect it, even if he didn’t like it.

“We appreciate the courtesy, Michael. Thank you for having us,” Naill answered with a smile.

He was terrific at taking the pressure off Harry. One of the many little things loved about him really. He meant liked. In a very bro-like way. Great… now Harry couldn’t even keep his inner dialogue from rambling and being distracted. He was brought back to the present by Michael giving a little excited clap.

“Great!” He said with a smile. “Let me begin but telling you we’re rolling and congratulating you on your upcoming tour and the success of your last album. It's quite unheard of for boy bands to continue with such a strong showing. Don't you ever feel burnt out or too tired?”

They all shook their heads, but it was Liam who spoke up first.  “I think there are times that we are tired and miss our family... Girlfriends.” He said simply, factually.  “But, we would miss our fans and all the wonderful things we've seen and continue to be able to do if we stopped now.”

“I think also for most groups, members aren't as close as we are,” Niall added to Liam’s statement. “I'd like to think we're like family.”

“Definitely,” said Louis. “We don't always get on... but we're always going to love one another and be there for each other. Nothing will change that.” They all nodded their heads. Harry sincerely loved every one of these guys.

“It must help to have one another.” Nodded the interviewer. He looked down at his notes, the back to the boys, his eyes fixing on Niall. “So, Niall, last month there were reports of you and Harry being locked away in a hotel in New York for weeks. So much speculation as to what was going on. Any clarifications for us?”

Harry didn’t interject like most people would have thought to. He had been in enough interviews to understand a rattling tactic. Ask person B the question so person A will feel the need to protect and defend.

Niall just smiled a little. “Yes, we were, but not for the reasons you're thinking.” He chuckled and continue his calm, collected statement. “My best mate needed me, and I went to help him. You have a best mate, right Michael?”

The interviewer looked surprised by the turn around. He smiled after a moment and nodded. “I do... But, I'm not being interviewed.” He gave it a teasing lilt, but Harry could see he didn’t appreciate the rebuttal. “Alright then. So... Harry. Tell us your news, since I can't get your mates to crack.”

Harry laughed and squeezed Niall’s hand in thanks. With the interviewer on defensive, the power is all in Harry’s court. “The truth is... I had a bit of a shock and Niall came to help me out.”

“Does this shock have anything to do with why Niall was seen shopping late at night for Diapers and bottles?” Michael looked triumphant. As if he had won. “The rumors are flying that you two have run off to get married in secret and adopted a child. Truth or not?”

“We got married?” Niall looked at Harry, laughing. “First I've heard of it.”

“Oh!” Piped in Zayn. “I read that one.” He chuckled softly. “They say you eloped and adopted some babies from a third world country. Like Brad and Angelina.”

Harry laughed and shook his head. “I don't think it's legal yet in New York... Or is it?” He shrugged. “No. We didn't get married. But, I would make an amazing Brad Pitt.”

“Pfffttt! I think not Harry! You are definitely Angelina in this relationship.” Niall couldn’t resist it.

The interviewer laughed lightly, visibly unsure what to make of this. “But, you did adopt a child?”

Harry just grinned and shook his head. The teasing with Niall had done exactly what Niall intended. It had calmed Harry down and allowed for his usual charm to flow.

“Not exactly,” Said Harry with a soft smile. “However, I do have a son.”

Niall can hear the interviewer’s brain stopping. He obviously expected them to come up with some plausible explanation. But, Niall never took his eyes from Harry.

“Well…” Michael cleared his throat. “How did that happen?”

Cue Louis and his perfect sense of sarcasm and scenting discomfort and awkwardness, like a shark scenting chum in the waters.

“Surely we don't have to explain that, mate.” Louis laughed, his laugh really not covering the sarcasm and disdain behind the words. “Everyone knows how babies are made.”

Zayn let out a little snort of laughter, grinning at Louis and leaning forwards in a show of solidarity. Liam looked terribly torn between trying not to laugh and scolding them all for torturing the guy. But, honestly, he did deserve it.

The interviewer bristled at Louis’ silent _'you idiot'_ and forced out a laugh. “Of course. I meant to ask… Can you tell us how this all came about, Harry?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Harry nodded, feeling his heart swell at their protection. “I met a girl. There was happening and now I have son. Jamie. He's altogether lovely and I'd like it if people didn't say nasty things about me, my son, or his mother.”

He wanted that to be said outright. Emilia deserved her privacy and he didn’t want anyone to say anything to our about her. He had refused to release her name voluntarily. If anyone did somehow release it, he’d do everything to protect her.

“Can we know who she is and if she's still involved with you or Jamie?” asked Michael with a somewhat oily smirk.

“No. She won't be brought up.” He said firmly, the smile falling, almost angry. “I don’t want her to be bothered at all. Nothing is her fault.”

He was grateful when Niall slid his hand along the back of his shoulders in a calming touch. He glanced over at Niall, seeing that his attention was completely on Michael.

“We'd appreciate if you wouldn't bring her up.” Niall to Michael, nodding firmly. “We would like her to have a peaceful life. You know how our fans can get.”

“Of course.” Said Michael, looking a bit put out not to have found that bit out. “So, tell us... Is he with you now?”

Harry nodded, smiling again at the thought of his son. “Yes. I'll be taking care of him. He's six months old and I'm very proud.”

The interviewer looked to the other guys in the band. “How do the rest of you feel about this?”

He had hoped to find someone angry at the turn of events, some dissatisfaction, he was disappointed. They all smiled and shrugged. Zayn was the first to speak up which hardly happened.

“He's our little nephew.” He said with a kind smile. “We'll stand behind Harry no matter what he decides.”

“I think what people need to understand is that we're human.” said Niall, his hand still resting on Harry’s shoulder. “We're growing up, and we make decisions that others may not agree with it. That's not for them to decide.”

“I'm the last person to say someone should or should not do something.” Louis interjected. “I know that we've all made mistakes, and honestly... this won't be the last one. We can't stay 15 forever.”

Liam, for his part just nodded and smiled. “I think it’s brilliant. Harry is an amazing Dad. He was born for it.”

Harry blushed at all their love and the words they said for him. “I'm sorry if I let people down. But, I can't apologize for what happened. If I did that... it would mean I'm ashamed of my son.”

Michael smiled. “Well… I honestly can't end it better, gentlemen. One more question.” He paused and turned to Harry fully. “Can we see him?”

Everyone looked to Harry, unsure what he would say. Harry himself thought about it for a bit. He was worried if he didn’t allow for some pictures, that the media would hunger for more and push the boundaries. He spoke after a long time with weighing his options.

“I don't mind showing him off... But, I'm asking everyone very nicely to please not try and invade the privacy of my child.”

He stood up and motioned to Anne, smiling when his mother brought out Jamie to him. His little face was buried shyly into her shoulder, unsure of all the attention. At the sight of Harry and Niall, he looked up, glancing around in curiosity, sucking on his pacifier.

Niall smiled softly at Jamie, his heart constricting as Harry took his gently from Anne. He never grew tired of the look on Harry’s face every time he held Jamie. Harry kissed Anne’s cheek and went back down between Niall and Lou, turning Jamie to face the camera.

“This is Jamie.” He said, lifting a chubby little fist and waving it at the camera.

Michael laughed and nodded. “He definitely is adorable.” He shifted and turned to the camera. “There you have it. One Direction, all grown up. This is Micheal Trevors and thank you for watching.”

They all waited for the all clear before he turned to the band. “Sorry for the invasive questions. Just doing my job.”

Niall nodded and shook his hand. “It’s fine. We understand that’s how it goes.”

Harry stood and shook his hand, snuggling a sleepy Jamie against his chest. He turned away, rubbing his back and rocking him. Sometimes, Harry lost himself in the moment of being with Jamie, never caring who saw him or how they felt.

Niall hated to interrupt him, but he could see how tired both Jamie and Harry was. He walked close and put a hand at Harry’s waist. “Hey, Harry. Everyone’s gone. Ready to head home?”

“Do you want to come home with us?” Harry asked of the others, grabbing his bag and tucking a mostly sleeping Jamie into his carrier. Anne waiting for them near the doors.

Liam shook his head and laughed. “Mate... don't take this wrong way, but we leave for tour soon. I'll soon be sick of you lot.” he grinned at them, knowing that they wouldn’t really be offended.

“Oi! Be nice babe.” Zayn exclaimed with swift smack to Liam’s ass.

“Hey!” Liam yelp and turned to pinch Zayn’s belly. “I'd just rather be with Sophia while I can.” He shrugged. “I love you all desperately though.” With a final kiss to Jamie’s forehead and an admonition to be good, he left to go meet up at home with Sophia.

Louis yawned and shook his head. “I think I'm gonna head out too. Store up sleep. You guys have a good night, yeah?”

Harry nodded and smiled. “Yeah... okay. Thanks for being here again.”

“We’re here for you Harry.” Zayn said, squeezing Harry’s shoulder. “Don't forget that.”

 And with those words and wave, he and Louis left. Niall stroked Jamie’s hair softly then turned to Harry.

“You okay?” He asked Harry softly.

“Yeah... I need to talk to Lou at some point I think.” He smiled at Niall. “What about you? Not sick of me yet?”

“I'm only leaving if you tell me to.” Niall laughed and grabbed the diaper bag for him. He stopped when Harry grabbed his hand. He turned to face a serious Harry.

“That’s not going to happen, Niall.”

The moment was broken by Harry a second later, he dropped Niall’s hand with a gentle squeeze before carrying Jamie over to where Anne was waiting for them. Anne pulled them both into a hug, dropping kisses on their cheeks.

“I’m so proud of you my loves. So proud.”

“Thanks for being here, Mum.”

“I’ll always be here for you Harry.” She smiled and looked at them both. “You two take care of one another always.”

Niall hugged her. He loved Anne like a second mother. “I will always watch over them.”

“I know you will, love.” She sighed and kissed them all one last time. “I’m heading back tonight, Harry. I’ll come down before you go. Okay?”

Harry nodded and said his goodbyes before seeing her out. He turned to Niall once she was gone. He reached out and took Niall’s hair.

“Ready to go?”

Niall squeezed his hand and nodded. “Always.”

 

 

Liam and Sophia were sitting on the couch in Liam’s home, her feet in his lap. They were watching the interview from earlier as it was being aired. Liam had his hand curled around her ankle, stroking the soft skin absently.

“I honestly thought Louis might hit the bloke,” he said with a little laugh.

Sophia laughed a little. “I thought Louis just didn’t like reporters. He gets so protective.” She watched as Niall replied in defense of Harry as well. “Do you think Harry and Niall are together yet?”

“Not yet... But, I've only seen Harry look at one other person like that before.”

“You mean Louis.” She said it in a matter of fact tone.

Liam sighed softly. “I think he’s afraid of messing it up. I know you weren't around for the fall out and that you are friends with Eleanor. I tried not to talk too much about because it can make things really awkward.”

Sophia sat up and put her arms around her knees. “I think Elly knew what she was getting into by dating Louis. She's a strong woman. She'll be okay.”

Liam knew he shouldn't ask, it wasn't his business, but he still did it. He really wanted to know his friend were going to be okay when this all fell out.

“Has she told you anything?”

Sophia was quiet for a moment, she wasn’t sure what to do, but she trusted that Liam wouldn’t actively get involved. She sighed and decided to give.

“She said she was paid at first to be a beard. I know people would look down at her for it, but she needed the money...”

Liam nodded, he had known that. Louis had gotten drunk one night after everything had exploded between him and Harry. He had come to Liam and poured it all out. Liam wouldn’t tell Sophia everything. That should stay between Harry and Louis. Niall and Zayn would eventually find out. Especially if things were going in the direction Liam hoped they were. So he told Sophia a bit.

“Yeah... It was complicated but there's more to it.” He started slowly. “Lou and Harry actually were together for a bit. But, Louis had a girlfriend back home. He broke up with her so he and Harry could be together, but management got upset and convinced him to take Eleanor as a beard. They tried to make it work for a while.” He paused her and tried to think of a way to word this.

“But, Harry isn't good when he has to hide.” He went on, as simply as possible. “Louis felt more powerless and Harry started hanging out with all these people Louis couldn't stand... so... eventually they tore each other apart.”  

Sophia reached over and rubbed the back of his neck. “And now he’s afraid he'll do the same to Niall, and he doesn’t want to do that, not with the baby being a part of it now. Am I right?”

“Yeah...,” Liam answered with a sigh. “I always knew that Niall had feelings for Harry. He was so mad at Louis for a while. Especially, right after they called it quits.” He turned to face her. “That’s when Louis really tried to make it work with Eleanor.”

Sophia turned back to watch the interview again. She could see how close Zayn and Louis would get. Zayn practically laying over Louis’ shoulder.

“Liam… Zayn and Louis… are they…?” She trailed off with laugh and shook her head. “ What are the odds of that happening?”

Liam shrugged and gave her a serious look. “I honestly don't know. I know that Zayn isn't as close to Perrie as he says he is. But, he's been very quiet.” Liam took her hand and gave it a kiss. “They truth is... we're all very touchy feely. But, it's always possible.”

“What about you?” She said this teasingly, but he could hear the curiosity in her voice.

Liam just laughed and shrugs. “If I were going to go for a bloke… it would be one of them. But I promise. I've always been very much into girls. Especially into you.”

“Glad to know I'm safe.” She said with a laugh and leaned in to kiss him gently.

“I’m all yours babe.” Liam said grinning, pulling her close.

They sat back and changed the channel to watch a movie. He was so very glad he didn’t have worry about relationships and unrequited love. He held her tightly, feeling so very lucky.

 


	9. I will carry you over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has an epiphany!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So finally we have come to something moving forward here! We've got all the chapters set out and just need to rewrite them in this format. We want to sincerely thank everyone again for their interest and all the great things you've said to us! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Please let us know what you think.

Harry watched as a nine month old Jamie pushed himself to his hands and knees from the floor of the tour bus. He smiled at the happy squeals the baby made at a laughing Niall.  Niall was sitting away from Jamie, encouraging him to crawl and hopefully to walk soon. At nine months, it was getting close to that time for him.

“Come here Jam Jam! Come to Da!” Niall encouraged him. Harry made a face at the name, but couldn’t help but laugh at how happy Jamie was.

“Da! Da!” He decided not to crawl anymore, but just make faces at Niall.

Harry just laughed from his place in the doorway. “He can’t walk yet, but he usually crawls well. Stop calling him Jam Jam…” He protested the name halfheartedly.

Niall just grinned and cackled a bit, getting up and lifting Jamie into the air, blowing a loud raspberry on the happily squealing baby’s tummy.

“He likes it! Don’t you Jamie?” He kissed all over Jamie’s face, settling on the couch.

“Fine. He loves you and probably loves anything you call him.” Harry smiled and sat beside them, leaning into Niall’s side. They shared a bus now, the three of them. The back had been converted into something of a family room with a crib and a couch that folded out into a bed. The crew were loyal and so far no one had said anything about how often Niall and Harry shared the bed.

Harry could tell that Niall was frustrated with him, his lack of response to Niall’s feelings. He never said anything. He never pushed. Harry knew that he was lucky to have Niall. He watched Niall as he took care of his son, his heart doing flips in his chest.

Niall smiled back at him. “He loves you too.”

“I know.” Harry leaned in, brushing a kiss to Niall’s cheek. “But, you’re his favorite.”

“No. I’m not.” Niall flushed and shook his head. “Don’t say that Harry. He doesn’t have a favorite.”

“Niall…” Harry laughed and touched his cheek to get his attention and calm him. “I’m not jealous. I’ve gotten over that. I completely understand. You are the fun Dad.”

Niall sat Jamie in his lap and gave him a teeth toy to play with. He avoided meeting Harry’s eyes, feeling guilty over the situation.

“I didn’t mean to monopolize all his time babe… I wasn’t thinking.” Niall didn’t protest when Harry wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him back against Harry’s chest.

“Niall…” Harry said softly. “I wasn’t complaining. You love him. As much as I do. That’s amazing and I am so grateful… so very grateful every day that you are here with me and that you auditioned that day. I’d be so lost without you.”

He would be. He knew it. Harry would have been lost long ago if he had never had Niall. Niall always knew how to pull him out when things got to be too much. Sometimes, he wondered how he had ever lived without him before. He glanced down as Jamie made little happy noises of contentment, looking at Niall and Harry with wide eyes, always happy when he was with them. He reached out to stroke Jamie’s hair.

“I swear... I was teasing. I don't think he has a favorite. His favorite time is this... when we're all together.” Harry smiled at Niall, showing he meant every word.

“I love both of you. You know that, ya?” Niall said softly, looking down at Jamie, then back at Harry.

Harry flushed, he felt so much every time he heard those words. “We love you too.”

Niall slid an arm around Harry and hugged him close. “Good.”

Harry smiled and kissed his cheek. As he leant in, he could smell the clean, spicy scent of Niall. Being what he thought was stealthy, he inhaled the scent, never getting enough of it. Once again, Jamie kicked him out of his daydream, literally. He glanced down and could see Jamie kicking him, grinning and wanting their attention.

Harry laughed and broke away from Niall, grabbing Jamie up and tickling him. “Silly boy! Daddy loves you so much!”

“DeDe!” Jamie squealed, grabbing at Harry’s curls. Harry just laughed and nuzzled him.

“Yes love... I’m DeDe.”

Jamie patted Harry’s cheek, giving him wet kisses. “DeDe!” He then turned to reach for Niall, wanting him in this too. “DaDa!”

Niall felt is heart skip a beat, his face lighting up as he took Jamie’s hand, then looked into Harry’s eyes. “Yeah love… I’m DaDa.”

Harry swear he stopped breathing when their eyes met. Jamie knew the difference. Niall was his dad, Harry was his dad. And Harry was completely and totally in love with Niall. In that moment he knew he had been fighting a battle that was already lost. Probably lost a long time ago.

“Niall…” He hadn’t actually meant to say anything, but his body was on autopilot. The revelation still catching up to him.

Niall smiled, his fingers still playing with Jamie’s hand. “Yeah? What’s wrong?”

Harry just took a breath, leaning in to him. “I… just…” He dropped his eyes to Niall’s mouth, the urge to kiss him overwhelming. “You’ve been so perfect, Niall… So Perfect.”

Niall looked at him and shook his head with a smile. “I’ve only done what I’ve wanted to do Harry. I wanted to be with you and Jam Jam.”

“I hope you never get bored with us.” Harry said with a bright smile, his dimples deepening. Part of him was trying to pull back the emotions rolling through him, but the bigger part was tired of fighting it.

 Niall shook his head and cupped Harry’s cheek. “It could never happen. I’m hoping you’ll let me be by your side for forever Harry.” He smiled softly at Harry, thumb stroking over his cheek.

Harry felt it again, that overwhelming feeling in his chest. This time… he didn’t stop it. He turned his cheek into the touch, pressing a soft kiss to Niall’s palm. His eyes falling closed in the wake of such powerful emotions.

Niall just smiled, wanting to say so much, but knowing it needed to come from Harry this time. He had promised he wouldn’t push, and he wouldn’t. But, damn, sometimes Harry made it so hard not to.

Harry opened his eyes and smiled softly. He leant in, brushing his mouth slowly against Niall’s before pulling back with an almost shy smile.

“Thank you Niall. For being you.”

Niall slid his fingers to the back of Harry’s head, taking the chance and pulling him back in to kiss him back. He wanted to shout in happiness as Harry shivered and his mouth softened beneath Niall kiss. He kept it tender, chaste. He still didn’t want to push Harry too far, but he hoped Harry felt as much as he did right now.

Niall deepened the kiss, wanting to show how much he loved and wanted Harry in this single show of affection. He was rewarded by a soft groan and Harry’s mouth opening beneath him, welcoming Niall in. Niall groaned and licked at Harry’s lips.

“DEDE! DADA!”

Niall suddenly felt a wet, cold something smack his face. He pulled out of the kiss to see a grinning Jamie waving his sloppy teething ring around. He looked at a dazed, but amused Harry.

“I forgot he was there for a second…” Said a slightly shamefaced Harry.

“Good.” Replied Niall with a happy grin. “I wasn’t the only one then.” He laughed and stood with Jamie in his arms, holding a hand out to Harry.

“I suppose I should feel bad.” He stood and took Niall’s hand, threading their fingers together.

Niall watched as Jamie laughed and babbled happily now that he had their attention back. “I think he will forgive us this once.”

Harry leaned in a play growled, nibbling at Jamie to make him laugh. He met Niall’s eyes and smiled softly.

“So… I was thinking. WE could get a babysitter and go on a date?”

“I think we could find sitters…” Niall smiled at Jamie, and then Harry.

“Will you go out with me Niall? After the concert tonight. We can get Paul to sneak us in somewhere for a late dinner.”

Niall gave him a soft, sweet kiss. “I’d love that Harry.”

Harry had difficulty pulling away, but he had plans to make. “I’m going to plan everything! Just wait... it will be a perfect first date!” He kissed Jamie’s head. “Are you okay here?”

“Better than okay.” Niall held Jamie close and smiled softly at Harry. “We’ll be fine.”

Harry gave him a last kiss on his cheek and left to make their plans for the evening.

 

 

Harry had been to Paul and set up the plans for dinner with Niall. He wanted this date to go right, it felt more important than any other date he had been on. Maybe because he had so much more to lose this time around.

Walking onto another bus, Harry saw Zayn sleeping on a bench. He laughed and nudged him lightly.

“Zayn?”

Zayn cracked his eyes open. “Oi... Harry. What’s up mate?”

“Hey,” Harry smiled. “Where’s Liam? I have a favor to ask.”

Zayn yawned and stretched, sitting up. “He and Louis went to get some food. You need something?”

“I have a date tonight…” Harry said with a smile, sitting beside him. “I need him to babysit.”

Zayn stopped mid yawn, surprised by that. “Seriously?! It finally happened?!”

“What?! You knew…?”

“You’re kidding right?!” Zayn stared at him. “We all knew. Everyone knows. Wait!” He turned to glare at Harry. “This is Niall we’re talking about right?”

“Of course it’s Niall!” Harry gave him a horrified look, then just sighed. “I’ve been a shit… haven’t I?”

“Nah Mate...” Zayn laughed and shook his head. “Of course not. I think Niall understood better than anyone.”

“I think I just kept waiting for it to be like Louis all over again…” Harry confessed. Sometimes, it was easier to tell Zayn everything because he would never try and fix it.

“It’s nothing like that. Niall is different than Louis. And he’s patient. He figured you’d come around or something.” Zayn patted his arm in comfort.

Harry sighed and nodded. “I want to learn from all my mistakes. Be a better man for Niall. He deserves that.”

Zayn just shook his head and stared at Harry. He reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Harry… you ARE a good man. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

Harry blushed. “I just meant I tend to mess things up.” He shrugged. “I want too much. I want everything with him. Everything.”

Zayn smiled and watched him for a moment. “We’ll watch Jamie for you. You never have to ask, yeah?”

Harry grinned and hugged him. “Thanks Zayn. After the concert? He should sleep through the night.”

Zayn nodded and ruffled Harry’s hair. “Sounds alright, mate. Just bring him over whenever. We love seeing out favorite nephew.”

Harry grinned and stood. He stopped at the front of the bus and turned to face Zayn once more. He needed to say this now, while he could and while he still felt it was okay to say.

“I wanted you to know Zayn… It’s okay with me. You and Louis.”

Zayn flushed and grabbed his lighter, distracting himself for a long moment. “That obvious?”

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I just know Louis. And you touch him more than you touch any of the rest of us.”

Zayn scratched through his scalp in embarrassment. He didn’t know what to say to that. It was just like Harry to say something that he didn’t even know he had needed to hear.

“It’s okay with me.” Harry smiled. “I know that you don’t need my permission and all. But, I wanted to say it. In case is was bothering you.”

Zayn smiled. “I think you and Lou think too much about what happened. I think that’s why he’s holding back as well.”

“He was my first love...,” Harry said softly. “And being with him all the time didn't help me to get over him. But the truth is... Some loves consume you.” He didn’t know how to say it. “You know when you are outside in the cold for a long time and then you go into a steaming bath and it hurts? It's good, but it hurts really badly too?”

“Yeah. I get it.” Zayn could understand what Harry was getting at. “But, what is Niall to you?”

“Niall…” Harry smiled a goofy smile and looked at Zayn with his heart in his eyes. “Niall is the warm fire and the hot chocolate that warms you up from the inside first…”

Zayn laughed softly and nodded. “Good. I think that’s what you need.”

“Yeah… he’s actually what I need. And what I want. I’m going to make sure he knows it and never forgets it.” Harry waved goodbye before heading off, planning to make sure Niall was very aware of just how much Harry wanted this.


	10. And I will hold you closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Niall go on a very fluffy date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the wait everyone! School has been crazy with the midterms and papers. hopefully it's slacking up a bit in the next couple of weeks. We've got about four or five more chapters before it's all wrapped up!

Harry smiled as he packed all of Jamie’s things for the night. The concert had been amazing. He had to admit that he had been all over Niall all night. It was like they were magnets and kept snapping back together. A sleepy Jamie looked at Harry calming, sucking at his pacifier.

“So, little man. DeDe loves you. But, he needs some time to woo DaDa.” Harry lifted a slowly blinking Jamie up and out of the room. He made his way towards Zayn’s room with the baby and bag. “So… you are going to sleepover with Uncle Zayn tonight. Hope it goes okay…” The last bit was said mostly to himself.

It’s not that he didn’t trust Zayn… It was more than he hadn’t really known Zayn to be a kid person, but he was sure Zayn would call if there was a problem. Plus Liam and Sophia said they would check on him. Jamie made a sleepy sigh and nuzzled into Harry’s neck. Harry smiled and kissed his head, rubbing his back.

“It’s alright my little love.” He knocked at Zayn’s door and smiled when Zayn opened it.

“Hey Harry.” He took in the sleepy baby. “Hey Jay.”

“He’s really tired. I woke him up and all the traveling gets to him.” He smiled and slipped into the room, surprised to see Louis flipping through the channels. “Oh. Hey Louis.”

Louis got up with a wave and took Jamie gently from Harry, cuddling him to his chest. “Zayn is not responsible enough to watch your child Harold. I’m here to save the day however. You go romance your boy.”

“Hey!” Zayn protested, dropping onto the bed with a smirk. “I take care of you, don’t I?”

Louis snorted in amusement. “I am a grown man and require very little seeing to.”

Harry laughed at that. “Right. Well. You two have fun then. Don’t lose my child.” He looked softly at Jamie, who was curled up on Louis, face tucked sleepily into his neck.

“Go Harry.” Louis waved him off. “Have fun. Sex Niall up. We’ve got the little one.”

Zayn nodded and grinned. “Be safe and use protection.”

“Both of you shut it.” Harry flushed and kissed Jamie’s head before rushing out and back to his room to get ready for his date.

Harry ran back to his room and jumped into the shower. He laughed at himself quietly at the nervousness. It was just Niall. Niall had seen Harry as his absolute worst. But, maybe that was why he was so nervous in the first place. This time it _meant_ something. It was _important_. For the first time, Harry Styles was actually nervous about a date.

He climbed out of the shower and dried himself off. He slipped on a pair of slacks and a black button down. Harry left his hair down for tonight. The curls floated softly around his neck and jaw as he walked towards Niall’s room. He took a moment to prepare himself before knocking on the door.

Niall opened the door, finishing the last couple of buttons on his white shirt. He flushed as he looked Harry over.

“Wow…hi…” Niall looked at him with a slow smile. His hair was unfixed, the fringe laying over his forehead.

Harry smiled and leaned in, tugging lightly at a blond lock. “You didn’t fix your hair yet. I like it. You look amazing.”

“I'll leave it like this if you want.” Niall smiled, reaching up to touch a curl playfully.

“Yeah…” Harry grinned and stepped in. He brought himself into Niall’s space, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Yeah…leave it.”

“I've been waiting for this...,” Niall wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist. “For a long time.”

Harry pressed against him, his arms slid around Niall's shoulders. “I'm sorry I made you wait.”  

“Just make it worth it.” Niall smiled and leaned in, catching his mouth in a slow kiss.

Harry shivered and let out a soft sounds of want. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, tongue slipping in to taste him. He returned the kiss eagerly, pressing in close to get as much contact as possible.

Niall slid a hand into the back of Harry’s hair. He took his time with the kiss, keeping it slow and deep. He has wanted this for so long.

Harry groaned, hands sliding down his back. He loved these long, drugging kisses. The simple act of learning Niall’s mouth and taste made his head swim. “Niall…”

Niall broke the kiss after a few moments, his hand coming up to cup Harry’s cheek, thumb sliding over his bottom lip.

“We should go… Are we’ll just end up staying here…,” He said, whispering it in Harry’s ear. Truthfully, he probably wouldn’t complain about staying in, but he wanted to do this the right way.

“Jamie's with the other children?” Niall asked with a grin as he grabbed his wallet and opened the door for them.

Harry laughed and took Niall’s hand. “He’s with Louis and Zayn.”

“That’s what I said.” He grinned and threaded his fingers into Harry’s.

Harry laughed and nodded. He smiled at Niall.

“I gave Zayn my blessing.” He spoke softly to Niall. “Told him I was over Louis. That is was okay if he wanted to be with him.”

“That’s brilliant, love!” Niall was proud of Harry for admitting that. And so damn happy that he was moving on with him.

Harry smiled at their security for the evening. He had arranged everything beforehand. The driver knew where to take them.

“I am.” Harry squeezed Niall’s fingers. “I think… I just needed you to make me see that.”

“I knew you would be okay.” Niall squeezed back and got into the car.

Harry slid in close, nuzzling him. The car took off, taking them to their destination.

“Niall…how long?”

Niall looked at him, a brow arching. “How long what?”

“How long have you been in love with me?” Harry asked softly. “How long have I been an idiot?”

Niall was silent for a long moment. He answered him with truthfully. “Since the X Factor...”

“Niall...,” Harry felt punched in the stomach. All the air left him in a rush. Niall had spent all this time loving him. He had been such an idiot not to see that. Harry felt as if he had spent the past four years being blind.

“Don't you dare feel bad.” Niall looked at him sternly. “It wasn't our time Harry. Not then.”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from cupping Niall's face. He stared into impossibly blue eyes for a long moment before sealing their mouths in a hungry, wild kiss. Harry poured all his want and passion for Niall into the kiss. He wanted to make him understand all the crazy things he couldn’t say just yet.

“It's our time now, Niall.”

Niall groaned and kissed him back with need. He could feel how much harry wanted him and it fed his own hunger. The kiss slowly gentled, becoming soft.

“I promise.” Harry spoke between soft, little, teasing kisses. “I’m ready now. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” Niall pulls back, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Okay?”

Harry nodded, flushed, but happy. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll try and stop feeling bad about it.”

“You have nothing to feel bad about.” Niall gave another soft kiss. “No more about the past. Let’s focus on the future. Our future. With you, me, and Jamie.”

Harry grinned so hard his cheeks hurt. “Yeah... Definitely. You, me and Jamie.”

Harry was almost disappointed that the car stops in front the building. He pulled away from Niall as Security opened the door. They were ushered into the back entrance of the restaurant. He was holding Niall's hand all the way inside and into the elevator as they went all the way up to the top.

Niall smiled at Harry. “Any chance you’re going to tell me what's going on?”

Harry just laughed and shook his head. He nodded to the man that was waiting to usher them through the curtains to a closed of area of a restaurant. Through the curtains, they were lead to a private room with one wall of windows. The view was breathtaking. The windows showed the Sydney harbor and all the glittering lights of the city spread out beneath them.

“Oh wow...,” Niall breathed out, staring out at the harbor. “This is amazing...Harry…”

Harry grinned, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around him. He pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. “One of the crew said this place was really amazing... You can see the opera house too.”

Niall was in awe at the view. “Yeah...”

“I wanted this night to be special.”

Niall turned to look at him. He smiled softly at him. “I have you Harry. That’s all I need to be special.”

Once again, Harry felt the love sweeping through him and it took his breath away. He was amazed that Niall loved him this much. It made him want to cry from all the wasted time.

“Niall... I love you.”

Niall cupped his face with trembling fingers. “Harry…”

Harry leaned in, kissing him again. It was becoming something that felt as natural as breathing. He was sharing the most profound kiss of his life with Niall in this moment. His mouth slid open against Niall's, his tongue slipping in to tangle and touch. It was slow and soft and all-consuming.  

Niall groaned softly, pulling him closer to him. Their tongues slid together as if in a slow dance. He had waited years for this moment, and now that he had Harry, he never wanted to let him go. He vowed he never would.

Harry broke the kiss slowly, nipping lovingly at Niall’s kiss swollen lips. “You are perfect…”

“I'm nothing special Harry.” Niall blushed and laughed softly. “Really.”

“You have no idea how special you are Niall. You really keep us all going sometimes.”

“I love you too.” Niall said, blushing softly again.

Harry smiled and took his hand, leading him over to the table to sit. “Here. I ordered dinner for us. I got loads of different things I thought you'd like. And they had Irish beer for you.”

“You know me too well, Babe.” Niall laughed and kissed his hand.

Harry sat down at the table, waiting for the waiter to bring their food. He waited to say anything until after they were left in privacy again. He smiled at Niall.

“I know everything about you, Ni.”

Niall unfolded his cloth napkin and placed it in his lap. “Everything, huh? That sounds a little creepy.” He smiled, teasing him a little.

“Well… I bet you know as much about me.”

“Touché” Niall laughed and took a bite of his lobster tail. His eyes closed in bliss as he let out a soft moan. “That. Is. So. Amazing.”

Harry laughed. He grinned and began to eat his own food. It was good to see Niall having a good time. “You know… This is first date that's I've been this nervous for... in a very long time.”

“Don't be.” Niall tapped Harry's leg with his foot. “It’s just us. Nothing has changed. Other than we're on a date.”

“But, it has. Because this is the most important relationship I've ever had. This is all or nothing.” Harry fiddled nervously with this glass. “I don't think I could move on. Not from you.”

Niall reached over and took his hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Whatever you think may happen that would tear us apart, it won't. I'm in it for the long haul.”

Harry lifted their hands, and pressed a kiss to his palm. “I don't think you will mess it up. I'm worried about me.”

“I had a feeling you would say that, about being worried.” Niall smiled softly. “Jamie and I had a talk you see?”

“Oh? What did he say?” Harry was surprised but in a happy way. He smiled and laughed softly at Niall’s teasing.

“He said yes, I could.” Niall grinned. “Actually, he threw up a little since I was feeding him, but I'm going to take it as a yes. He'll agree with me on it when he's older.”

“Shut up. You are utterly ridiculous.” Harry laughed and shook his head at him. He sighed and sipped his champagne. “I love you.”

“I love you too, which is why I'm doing this.” Niall smiled and took out a small box.

Harry stilled and looked in shock at the box. “What is that, Niall?”

“It’s not a bomb Harry.” Niall laughed and slid it across the table. “Here. I want you to open it.”

Harry took the box with trembling fingers. He lifted the lid to find a ring nestled within. It was a golden band with a heart shaped emerald. On either side of the heart where hands cupping the gem, a tiny golden crown on top. Harry immediately recognized the meaning behind this particular ring, a Claddagh.

“Niall...” He breathed, touching the ring reverently.

Niall reached out and took the ring out of its box. He looked into Harry’s eyes and took his hand.

“Harry…” Niall kissed his knuckles and smiled. “I know right now we can't really come out to the world, but I want you to know how serious I am about you and Jamie. I love you both, and no matter what, I'll always be there for you. Will you accept this ring?”

“Look at you...one upping me on our first date.” Harry laughed, sniffing slightly. He nodded to him eagerly. “I believe you Niall...I believe you.”

Harry slid the ring on his finger with a soft kiss to it. “Good. That makes me happy to know that.”

Harry gave into his sudden urges and climbed into Niall’s lap. He straddled his thighs and slid a hand around the back of Niall’s neck, pulling him into a hungry kiss.

Niall was surprised for a second before kissing him back. He slid his fingers sliding into Harry’s hair, holding him close as he kissed him senseless. He did his best to show him how much he loved him, wanted to be with him.

Harry let out a soft groan. He pressed in close, settling on Niall’s thighs. He was so tired of holding back, so he let go, licking into Niall’s mouth with abandon. They slid their tongues together sensually. The kiss held promises of everything that was yet to come.

Niall was the first to pull away, his breathing heavy and unsteady. “Harry... love, as much as I would love to continue... we are in the middle of dinner, and I believe you had something else planned.”

Harry looked wrecked. He was flushed and panting heavily. He pulled away reluctantly with a nip to Niall’s mouth.

“Right… more…Finish dinner, then we've got another stop. Then we're going back to mine.” Harry promised with a slow grin of promise.

Niall laughed huskily. “Yes, since our loving bandmates have Jamie for the night, after all.”

“It's been awhile though. Just to warn you.” Harry blushed and slid back into his own seat. “I might be rusty.”

Niall kicked him lightly, teasingly. “Hush you. Eat your dinner.”

Harry laughed and kicked him back. He went back to his food, but couldn’t stop sneaking glances at the ring. He kept noticing little details. Harry remembered the first time he had heard what it meant. Maura had told him about the hands meaning friendship, the crown meant loyalty and the heart meant love. He found even more romantic and sweet now that he had one of his own.

Niall eats his very delicious meal, but can’t help but watch Harry. His heart skipped a beat every time he caught his love looking at the ring. He couldn’t believe that this was his to have now. His Harry. Finally.

Harry sat back after dinner, looking at Niall. “So, I was curious. You’ve always been so quiet about your love life. Even with your best mates. What about Ellie… Barbara? Did you ever really date them?”

Niall shook his head, pushing his own plate back. “No. I didn't feel right dating them when I had no feelings for them. It wasn't fair to drag them along, I thought.”

“So... you were just friends?”

“Yeah. Well… Barbara and I, at least. We still are. I don't talk to them as much though.”

“I didn't date most of those people... you know that already.” Harry wanted Niall to understand and to know the truth. “Taylor was me trying to date. I didn't realize how bad it would all go. Kendall was just a friend. Paige was a set up. I'm not saying I was a monk. I know you weren't either. But, most encounters were hook-ups.”

“I'm not saying any of us are saints, Har.” Niall smiled and shrugged. “But why dwell on it? They don’t matter now.”

“I guess because... I want to be honest.” Harry smiled at him. “It's when there are secrets and fears that things get ruined. I don't want to do that again.”

“Harry.” Niall took his hand and squeezed it. “Who we dated, who we even slept with, they don't matter. I'm not going to get jealous, or resentful.”

“I can't promise I won't flirt.” Harry just needed this to be clear. He didn’t want anything to ruin things. Niall was everything. “Just like I can't promise sometimes not to be jealous when you flirt. It's part of who we both are though. We’re bad at it.” He laughed softly.

“I know.” Niall was quiet for a long moment. “Do you know why I don't get jealous, or angry?”

“Why?” He stroked along Niall's fingers, caressing them. He loved how Niall’s skin felt against his own.

“Because I know, in the end, you love me, and I'm the one you're coming home to.”

Harry looked at him, laying everything on the line. “There is no one else for me. Ever again.” He stood and held his hand out. “Come with me?”

“Of course,” Niall stood and slid his hand into Harry’s. “Where are we going?”

Harry lead him back out into the car, thanking the staff and leaving a generous tip on his way out.

“Somewhere quiet and special.” He answered as they got into the car.

“Tonight has been special, already.” He laughed softly at him.

“Yeah... but how often do we get to out in public and just be together?” Harry climbed back out as the car stopped. “The moon is full and this place is private…”

He had found this private little cove then last time they had been in Australia. It was dark and the only light was the moon, but they could be together private and it was romantic.

Niall got out of the car, grinning in excitement as well. “This s amazing babe!”

Harry threaded his fingers through Niall's. “Since we've been on tour... It's been the best and worst thing. Because you can't be with me every night. Jamie misses you when you aren't there, so do I. I don't want us to be separated, anymore.”

“I know how you feel....” He squeezed their hands together. “I miss you two horribly when I'm gone.”

“One day... We won't hide this.” Harry turned to him, The Ocean and moon their only company. “We won't have to sneak and do these things in the dark of night. I want that day. I want to be in love with you and you in love with me. I want Jamie to never forget he has TWO dads... “

“He'll have that one day. WE will have that one day.” Niall drew him down into a slow kiss. “Until then we'll be okay.”

Harry stood at the shore of the ocean, feeling the warm waves lap at their toes as he returned the kiss. His heart so full of love and desire. “One day.”

“One day.” Niall promised with a smile, holding his lover close. “One day.”


	11. I wish that I could take you to the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear... this chapter gave me fits. It was rough going. Somehow, sex is so hard to write. I don't know how people write it so easily. But, finally, it is done and here it is. The smut filled chapter with Narry! If you don't like sex. Skip it. I won't be offended. But, we just want to thank everyone for sticking with us through everything! We've got a few more chapters left! You've all been fantastic! We love you!

Niall opened the door to Harry’s hotel room after their date. Harry walked in behind him and reached for Niall’s coat.

“Do you want anything to drink, Harry?” He asked. He smiled and kicked off his shoes.

Harry laughed and shook his head. He was nervous. Almost more nervous than the date itself had made him. This was serious. This time, He was all in. 

“No.” He smiled and moved towards the bed. “I’m a bit tipsy from all the wine at dinner. I’m good.”

Niall smiled and moved to sit beside him on the bed. “I’m glad we did this Harry.”

“Me too…” Harry reached over and slid his fingers through Niall’s. The Claddagh ring shone brightly on the ring finger of his left hand. Perhaps one day, they would exchange it for a wedding band, if everything went well tonight.

Niall cupped his face gently. He looked into Harry’s beautiful green eyes before leaning in, sliding his mouth slowly against Harry’s. He wanted to take his time and keep things soft and slow. They didn’t need to rush. Part of him wanted to, but he knew they needed to make sure this was what they both wanted.

So, Niall took his time with the kiss. Keeping it soft and light, he worked his lips against Harry’s. Niall sucked and nipped at his mouth before flicking his tongue along Harry’s bottom lip, asking silently to be able to go deeper.

Harry shivered and tilted his head into the kiss. He opened his lips slowly beneath Niall’s mouth, opening like the petal to sun, drinking him in. Harry’s hands made their way along Niall’s arms, urging him closer. He was already burning up, wanting more.

Harry sucked at Niall’s tongue as it slid along Harry’s lips. Niall’s fingers sliding along his chest to start undoing the buttons on Harry’s shirt. His fingers slid over tanned skin, tracing the outlines of swallows and down to caress over moth and down to laurel leaves. Harry couldn’t breathe, Niall’s touch seemed to steal his breath.

Never breaking the kiss, Harry slid to the floor between Niall’s open thighs. He slid his hands up along those same thighs, fingers curling over his Niall’s ass and pulling him in closer. He licked into his mouth, tugging up the hem of is shirt, hands sliding up Niall’s side to caress him back.

Niall groaned and shiver, so turned on and just so damn in love. He pushed Harry’s shirt off, calloused fingers urging him closer. “Harry…”

Harry broke the kiss with a soft, wet noise. Their lips smacking softly together. His eyes were green as emeralds, dark with want as he met Niall’s eyes. Harry’s hands slid up his belly and chest, taking Niall’s shirt up as he went.

“Do you want this Niall? Do you want me?” He asked breathlessly, aching with want.

Niall laughed softly, nodding as he cupped Harry’s face. “That’s a silly question to ask... Of course I do!”

“Good…” Harry grinned and slid his shirt up and off over Niall’s head. He took the opportunity to press his mouth to Niall’s neck. His tongue and teeth pressed against his pulse, tasting and worrying at the skin there.

Niall slid a hand into Harry’s curls, tugging at his hair and pulling his head back. Harry groaned, hands pulling Niall closer as Niall devoured his mouth in a hungry kiss. If Harry had thought kissing Niall before was hot, he was mistaken. He felt like he was being burned alive. He should have known that Niall would ruin him. His only choice was to make sure he ruined Niall right back.

He groaned into the kiss, pushing back harder, deeper. Their tongues battled together in a sensual, teasing dance. Niall’s hands drifted to cup Harry’s cheeks. His thumbs slid along Harry’s cheeks, caressing and learning the shape that his eyes knew so well.

Harry sucked slowly and teasingly at Niall’s tongue. He nipped and toyed with his mouth as his fingers slid down to undo Niall’s pants. The button popped open, followed by a slow tug of the zipper. “Niall…”

“Hmm…?” Niall was distracted by the slow, drugging kisses. His hands slid over Harry’s shoulders, through his hair.

“Need to get your kit off, love…” Harry breathed heavily against his neck, tugging at the edge of his pants.

“Oh.” Niall laughed and leaned back to lift his hips for Harry to tug his pants off. He smiled down at his soon-to-be lover, flushed and panting himself. “Right.”

Harry grinned and pressed his mouth in a line down Niall’s chest. He nuzzled his belly while dragging his pants down over his hips. Sitting back on his heels, Harry removed Niall’s shoes and the rest of his clothing, hands caressing along his calves and thighs as he went.

“I can't believe I get to have you...” He said softly, reverently against the skin of Niall’s thigh.

“I can't believe it either...” Niall whispered, watching as Harry stood. He was awed at the sight of Harry undressing before him. He had wanted it for so long. “It’s almost like I'm dreaming...”

“I’m real… so real…” Harry stood before him, naked and hard. He slid a hand along Niall’s shoulder, caressing his throat before pressing against his chest, urging him to lay back. Once he had Niall laid out before him, Harry crawled over him, sliding in between his thighs. “I’m right here with you… Can’t you feel me?”

“Yes…” Niall groaned, rocking up against him. Their breaths hitched as their cock slid together teasingly. Harry lay over Niall, grinding against him slowly. He slid his arms under Niall’s back, hips pressing against Niall’s. He was rewarded with Niall’s hands sliding over his back, urging Harry closer.

“Harry… ahh….” Niall panted, burying his face in Harry’s neck, his mouth sucking and licking at the sweat glistened skin. Their hips slid together with slow, loving rolls. “Love you…”

Harry groaned and slid a hand down between them. He wrapped his long fingers around their cocks, pressing them together as they move.  “You feel so good…”

Niall arched beneath him, his head falling back against the pillows. He groaned low with lust, his legs came up to wrap around Harry’s waist, dragging him closer.

Harry shifted his weight onto his knees, gaining leverage to grind harder against him. He slid his mouth down Niall’s neck, sucking dark, livid marks onto his creamy pale skin. “So fucking beautiful, babe… My Niall…”

“Harry… fuck... please…” Niall drove his fingers into Harry’s wild curls, tugging slightly in his need for more. “Come on, love… give me more… been waiting too long.”

Harry shuddered and took Niall’s mouth in a hungry kiss. His mouth slid over Niall’s, his tongue thrusting in to claim his mouth as his own. One hand slid down to caress Niall’s hip and thigh, the other grabbing for the lube beneath the pillow, having his it there earlier in the hopes of tonight going this good.

“How far do you want to go Niall?” Harry asked, his breath heavy and hot. He needed to know now.

“I want the whole thing.” Niall flushed, but nodded firmly, licking and nipping at Harry’s lips. “I want all of you…”

Harry groaned and licked back into Niall’s mouth, almost trembling with the idea of being inside him. “I want that too… so very much…”

Harry pulled back slowly, kneeling between Niall’s thighs, urging them open with soft caresses. “I’ll need to prep you babe.”

He looked down at his lover, so beautiful and Harry felt his cock twitch at the sight. He was so hard, leaking at the tip of his cock, but took a deep breath to get his control back. He would make this good for Niall. He would ruin him. For any other… Man or woman.

“I trust you love…” Niall smiled up at him, running his hands over Harry’s chest, spreading his legs in invitation.

Harry shivered at the sight of him, leaning in to press hot kisses along Niall’s chest. He slid his lips over a hardened little nipple, sucking it teasingly. He lifted his eyes to watch Niall’s face as his slickened fingers found and teased at his hole. He circled and rubbed at the puckered muscle, watching his every reaction, teeth catching on his nipple.

Niall groaned and closed his eyes, his body pressing up into the touches. He fisted his hands in the sheets, his body feeling suddenly lit on fire with Harry’s every touch. “Fuck…”

“It’s okay… just relax…” Harry nipped at his skin, pressing a finger in slowly. He distracted him with bites and sucks to his skin, tongue circling and flicking over his nipples. “So good, Niall…”

Niall had to laugh breathlessly, relaxing his muscles around him. “It’s… this is different… your fingers in me arse…”

Harry grinned, laughing and crawling up to press kisses over his face. He loved how Niall’s accent got thicker when he was feeling strong emotions. “It will feel good. I promise.”

“I believe you.” Niall smiled and kissed him. “I do. I trust you too.”

Harry kissed him back, wild and deep. He worked his finger slowly in and out, careful to make sure he didn’t hurt Niall. His body was screaming for him to hurry it up, bury himself deep inside the tight heat of him. But, this was Niall’s first time doing this and he was going to make it bloody fucking amazing.

“I want to make it feel so good, Niall…”

“I know it will, Harry.” Niall groaned, rocking his hips down, the pain fading to be replaced with a tingling pleasure. “It will… because it’s you.”

Harry just kissed him harder, so very fucking in love with him. He sucked at his mouth and tongue, adding a second finger carefully, curling them up inside him. He stretched him slowly, searching carefully and finally finding the one spot his knew would make this brilliant.

He was rewarded with a jerk from the man beneath him, a breath gasp and a whispered dirty “fuck!” against his mouth as Niall was introduced to the mind numbing pleasure.

Harry grinned and nipped at Niall’s mouth. “See? That’s what I’m looking for love…” Harry fucked him open slowly with his fingers. He kept teasing the bundle of nerves inside with light little touches. Each brush rewarded with Niall’s muscles clenching around his fingers, sucking them in deeper.

“You feel so hot and tight…” harry whispered huskily into Niall’s ear. “I can’t wait to feel you around my cock, babe.”

“Fuck Harry…” Niall wasn’t sure if it was Harry’s words or touches that were driving him to madness. “What are you doing to me…?”

Harry slid his tongue up Niall’s neck to bite at his earlobe gently. “It’s your prostate. I told you it would feel good.” He gave him a slow kiss before lifting back to kneel upright. Harry lifted Niall’s leg and hooked it over his shoulder, fingers sliding free. He heard Niall’s soft whine in protest, but only added more lube, this time pressing three fingers back into him.

Niall whimpered. He would be embarrassed later at the noises he was making but right now, he just couldn’t stop them. “You… fuck… seem to be having… loads of fun…”

Harry grinned and turned his head. He slid hot little kisses along Niall’s ankle and calf. “I’m having a wonderful time…” He pressed those long, nimble fingers inside him deeper, pushing him open for more.

“You are so fucking beautiful… I love watching you fall apart.” Harry stopped at Niall’s knee to lavish his scar with kisses and licks.

“Me too…” Niall let out another low moan, panting heavily, his hips pushing down onto those wicked fingers. “Jesus! Harry! Stop fecking teasing me, yeah!”

Harry heaved a breathless chuckle and pulled his fingers out. He slid a slick hand over his own cock, gritting his teeth with the effort it took to stop himself from jerking off and painting Niall with his come.

“Okay, Nialler… Relax for me love…” Harry pressed Niall’s legs up towards his chest, opening him up for the blunt head of his cock to press against the slickened pucker. He gripped the back of Niall’s thigh, exposing him, watching as the head slid inside him with a little pop.

“Push down babe… fuck… Niall... you’re so tight…” Harry had to breathe deeply, his muscle trembling. He wanted to just slam deep inside him, claim him, and take him. But, he didn’t. Not this time. This time was special.

“Harry…” Niall groaned and pushed down, shuddering as Harry slid deeper inside him. He had never felt this good before. Sex had never been this fucking amazing before Harry. “Love... I feel so full… fuck…”

Harry let go of his legs once he was buried to the hilt inside of Niall. He let them settle around his hips, leaning down to kiss Niall hungrily. He needed to be as close as he could with every inch of himself.

“Niall… You are perfect…”

 Niall kissed him back, not caring about oxygen, just needing more of Harry. “We’re finally here, babe… together…” He smiled, his heart so gone for this man.

Harry laughed softly against Niall’s lips. “I don’t plan on being with anyone else like this… ever again. Just you.” He looked down at Niall, their eyes meeting as he began to move, sliding in and out of him with slow rolls of his hips.

Niall groaned, tightening his legs around Harry’s hips, shuddering. “Harry… we won’t… Because I’m never going to let you go…” He reached and threaded their fingers together on one hand, letting Harry pin it to the bed above their heads.

Harry couldn’t believe this was his. Niall was his. He groaned and slid out almost to the tip, holding it there before sinking back into him with a long, hard thrust. He was fascinated with every emotion flitting over Niall’s face, he drank in his moans and gave back his own.

“Niall… you feel so good.” He couldn’t stop himself from driving in harder, fucking into him deep. His cock bottomed out over and over, each thrust pushing them both higher. He grabbed at Niall’s free hand as it reached for his cock.

“No. Want you to come. Like this. On my cock.”

Niall moaned and clenched around him. He could feel Harry slamming so deep inside him. His cock kept dragging over Niall’s prostate with each trust and Niall was slowly going insane. He could feel his orgasm building up behind his navel. It felt like a volcano building up pressure and he knew he was going to explode.

“Yeah… fuck… Harry…” He let go of Harry’s hands grab handfuls of his ass, pulling him deeper, harder. “Fuck me. Fuck me Harry.”

Harry shuddered and slid his arms beneath Niall’s shoulders, gripping them tight and holding him down as he slammed into him harder. Niall’s words breaking his last barriers, wanting only to make Niall come and fill him in return. He drove into him over and over, fucking in deep. Deep groans and senseless whisper were pressed into Niall’s skin.

Niall felt his breath being punched from him with each thrust. His cock rubbed heatedly over Harry’s belly were it was trapped between them. He clenched tighter, crying out as Harry’s cock jabbed straight into his prostate.

Harry lifted his head and slammed into mouth down onto Niall’s drinking his cries, his cock twitching and pulsing inside him. Harry’s own orgasm was so close. He kept fucking into that spot, feeling Niall’s nails dragging down his back and ass.

Niall arched his back with one final cry, coming hard between them. He saw white and lost all sense of time, only aware of his own pulses of pleasure as Harry fucked him through his waves of pleasure. He could feel Harry’s orgasm as it hit him. The hot pulses of his release filling him up.

“FUCK! HARRY!!” Niall locked his legs around him, feeling Harry tremble and jerk into him as they both emptied themselves.

“Niall…” Harry groaned, pressing tired, loving kisses all over him face and skin. “Niall… I love you. I love you so much.”

Niall laughed, but Harry could see the tears leaking from the corner of his eyes. He slid slowly out of Niall, caressing his cheeks.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly, wiping the tears away.

“No!” Niall smiled and pulled him back down and cuddled him in. “I’m happy. I have you. I love you. I get to make love to you and sleep beside you and in the morning, we’ll go and get our kid and be a family.”

Harry pulled him against his chest, holding him tightly. “Yeah. A family.”

Niall kissed his chest and yawned, tangling their limbs together. “We have time for a nap before we have to shower and get on a plane.”

Harry laughed, his fingers combing through Niall’s hair. “Too bad we don’t have time for round two.”

Niall thought about that for a moment, then grinned. “Blowjobs in the shower?”

He was rewarded with a brilliant smile and a soul searing kiss. “You are on.”


	12. When the night is coming down on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby plus Paparazzi equals a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... this took me longer than I meant for the update. Good news is... We've got two more chapters! Bad News... Hopefully there isn't, but preemptively, with the semester coming to a close and me so very behind in coursework, I'm not sure when those two chapters will be out. Hopefully soon! Thank you to everyone who is patiently waiting for me to get these out and haven't given up on us! I know how easy it is to give up. Thank you and I give everyone my love!

Harry was holding a sleepy and travel cranky Jamie against his chest as they got off the plane at Heathrow. It was so very late and they were coming home for a short break to celebrate Jamie’s first birthday. As they made their way to the terminal, he was surprised at the commotion and the screams. He turned to look at Niall with a bewildered expression.

“I thought we were supposed to be flying in, in secret…”

Niall gave him a confused frown and nodded. He had no idea how anyone had found out unless someone at the previous hotel had tipped off the media. One thing he had learned was to never underestimate the fangirls.

“I thought so too…” He murmured to Harry. “It’s okay. We’ll just get through it quickly tonight.”

Harry nodded and hugged a suddenly restless Jamie closer. He could sense his distress at the loud noises. The crowds were the biggest problem for Jamie. He pulled him closer and kissed his forehead when Jamie whimpered and clutched tighter to him.

“DeDe… DaDa…”

“It’s going to be okay, Love. Hold on to me.” Harry whispered to Jamie, hugging him tight. He turned to face Niall. “Yeah. No choice but to go through it.”

“Right.” Niall replied and pulled the blanket over Jamie’s head, tucking it around him. “Hey Jam Jam. We’re play hide and seek okay?”

Jamie nodded burrowed into Harry’s neck, hiding himself from everything. Harry held him tight as they made their way towards the crowd. He kept up a soft murmur, singing gently to a mostly covered Jamie. He wanted to keep him soothed and calm.

“It’s okay my love. We won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ve got you, darling.” Harry felt for his son when the screams got louder and Jamie covered his ears and whimpered. Sometimes, he thought about giving it up, but knew that things would get better. As they met with the crowd, it wasn’t really the fans that were the problem. It was the paparazzi that immediately began shouting and snapping pictures on them.

“Harry! Niall! Is it true that you are together now!?”

“Have you thought about what this will do to your fans?!”

Harry and Niall both ignored the questions, their only concern for Jamie and just making it through the crowd. Niall tensed and walked closer, ready to defend both father and son from any and every one.

“It’s okay baby…” Harry whispered to a frightened Jamie. “Keep your ears covered for me.”

He felt like maybe they would make it through in relative peace when a fan who reached for them, tugged at the blanket, pulling it from Jamie’s body, leaving him exposed to the cameras. The flashes and squeals and shouts got instantly louder, everyone trying to get closer to see. As the blanket came away, it had caught on Jamie, jerking him back a bit. With that and the sudden influx of flashes, Jamie started to wail in fear and shock. Harry tried to cover him and move faster, but found it difficult with the press of bodies around them.

“Please just let us through…” He tried being polite, but Jamie was frightened and Harry needed to get him out of there.

“Get the kid! Everyone wants pics of the kid!” Shouted a faceless photographer, pushing in close to put the camera in Harry and Jamie’s space, getting pictures of them.

Niall pushed the man away, furious. “Hey!! Back off mate!!”

The pap just shrugged and threw his hands up. “Just doing my job. People want pics of the little tot.”

The girl who had pulled the blanket tried to give Harry back the material. “I’m sorry. I just wanted a picture.”

Harry nodded to her, but was preoccupied with soothing Jamie. “It’s alright.” He smiled briefly and took it back, trying to cover and move past. “We just need to leave.”

All around there seemed to be chaos. Paps snapping pics and fans pushing in to try and talk to them or get pictures of their own. Harry tried not to be frightened, but Jamie being with him, put a whole new dimension to the situation. He pushed in close their security, glad to see the car wasn’t too far away.

Niall had enough as another Pap jumped in front of them and stuck his camera in Jamie’s face, scaring him even more. He reached out without thinking and yanked the camera away, throwing it as far as he could away from the crowd.

“BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME SON!!!” He shouted over the din of the crowd.

Harry was not the only one to freeze. It was as if time stood still and silent reigned. Harry looked up and stared at Niall. Then all hell seemed to break loose and the paps crowded in more, shouting so loud, the girls screamed and Jamie cried even harder. He turned and pushed Jamie into Paddy’s arms and shouted for him to get Jamie to the safety of the car. He waited until Paddy pushed through, Jamie reaching back for Niall and Harry, screaming for them. But, Harry knew he was safe. Instead he turned and grabbed Niall’s hand, threading their fingers together and pushing through the crowd, for once being rude in the effort to take care of his family.

He was brought up short by a big man, the camera flashing and the words pushing at him as much as the physical touches.

“So you are admitting to shagging then?! Are you adopting Jamie?! Living together?! Who tops!?”

Niall glared and pulled Harry closer. “Follow my lead, okay?” He wouldn’t fuel the fire any by answering their questions. He knew he had made a mistake, but right now, he couldn’t focus on that. He pulled Harry through the throng of people, ignoring the wails of the girls and the leers and comments from the Paps, keeping Harry close.

“Don't say anything babe...” He whispered to Harry.

Harry nodded and held onto him. They pushed through the crowd, panicked with the need to get to Jamie. Even frantic and worried, he still reached out and apologized to anyone he pushed or stumbled into. He let Niall lead, knowing he would make sure they made it to the car.

Niall held off the crowd and let Harry climb into the car before pushing in behind him. As he climbed in, the door slammed and locked behind him, the car immediately pulling away from the curb. Jamie’s wails and cries coming clear as soon as they were off. He looked over and his heart broke at the sight of Jamie, struggling to reach his parents, begging for them.

Harry pulled Jamie in close, pressing back into Niall’s side. He ran his hands over Jamie, checking him for any injuries, whispering soft soothing noises. He rocked him close, kissing his hair and face as Jamie’s hiccupping sobs slowed.

“We’re here baby…” Niall stroked Jamie’s hair, his arm wrapping around Harry. He tried to sooth them both, Jamie’s cries slowly crying up as he clung to Niall and Harry.

“I’m so angry…” Harry spoke softly, nuzzling Jamie and rubbing his back. “How did they know we’d be there, Niall?”

“I don’t know love.” Niall pulled them both close. “I don’t know…”

Harry pulled out his phone, his fury prompting him to send a tweet; _I’ve never been mean to you… why would you hit me where it hurts the most? #notmykid!_

As soon as he had sent it, Niall’s phone beeped. Harry’s face grew pinched as he read everything he needed to know from Niall’s angry expression. Of course management heard it all first.

“Their pissed. Said they will call soon and stay out of public.” Niall all but growled out.

“Because we didn't deny it.” Harry paled and tried not to tense too much. “And you called Jamie yours.”

“So fucking what?!” Niall was furious. “Did they really expect me to deny anything?!”

“Niall…” Harry wanted to comfort them both. “Babe… please…”

It was Jamie that brought Niall out of his fury with a small pat and a worried little sniff. “Dada…”

Niall sighed and kissed Jamie’s little hand. He was so upset at the thought of being forced to deny everything, to deny his love for Harry. Or worse… deny his love for Jamie.

“I won’t do it Harry. I won’t ever deny you. Or Jamie.”

“I know…” Harry took a deep breath and leaned against. “I won’t either. But, this might get messy for us”

“What do you mean?” Niall reached over and took Jamie gently onto his lap, rubbing soothing circles over the toddler’s back.

“Management will make us separate.” Harry stated bluntly. “They will make one of us get a girlfriend and spend more time apart. Separate vacations. Beards. Separate interviews.”

Niall smiled softly down at Jamie, who was over his trauma and sucking his thumb, cooing at Harry and Niall. Every time he held him, saw him, Niall fell in love with this mini Harry all over again.

“Never.” He stated truthfully, earnestly. “I’d sooner quit the band.”

“Niall! Don’t say that!” Harry was horrified. “There wouldn’t be a band without you!”

“Then stop.”

“Stop?”

“Stop thinking I'm going to be like Louis and walk away!” Niall was so angry with everyone who ever forced Harry into this spiral of worry and stress. He was angry with the paps, management, even the fans. Literally EVERYONE.

Harry flushed and took an upset Jamie from Niall, as the car pulled up to their house. He could see that they were gearing up for a row and wanted to be inside when that happened.

“I never said that…” He climbed out, taking Jamie with him. “Come on Jamie-bug. We’re home.”

“Then why do you think management will have the final say?” Niall followed him out and into the house.

“Because they always do!” Harry set Jamie down, but the baby did not want to leave them. “Niall... They practically own us!”

“No! Not this. Not us.” Niall stared at Harry, his eyes firm, his tone resolute. “I will not let them separate me from you or our son.

Harry couldn’t be angry when Niall was fighting so hard for them. Harry had nothing to fight him on either. He sighed and nodded to him. “Okay. Okay. They won't take this from us.”

“Dadadadadada!!!” Jamie had had enough of being ignored. He tugged at Niall’s pants and bounced up and down. Niall laughed and picked him up, tossing him playfully, grinning at the squeal of delight.

“Hear that Jam Jam?! DeDe finally understands!”

“I'll fight.” Harry smiled and put his arms around them both. “I'm sorry. I promise, I won't give this up. I'll fight for you.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” Niall rested their foreheads together, and smiled softly. “I love you Harry. With everything I am.” He leaned in and pressed a soft, slow kiss to Harry’s mouth.

“I love you too Niall. More than anything.” Harry kissed back, finding it hard to believe he could have this now. They both gave into the kiss, ignoring the angry buzzing of theirs phones. Eventually they broke apart with a sigh.

“One of us is going to have to answer…” Harry sighed.

“Let me get it.” Niall smiled and stepped away, answering the phone with a quick hello.

“Yes. This is George Halliway with your PR team. We’ve been calling both you and Mr. Styles.” The voice was shirt and clipped. Niall could tell he wasn’t happy.

“Yeah. Well… We’ve been trying to call Jamie down since someone obviously dropped the ball on the whole flying in quietly thing.” Niall wasn’t going to be pushed around anyone.

“We apologize for the upset that was caused to both you and Mr. Styles. But, I am calling to inform you that we will need to see both of you first thing in the morning to decide on strategy for damage control. Tonight, we will issue a statement that you spoke in anger and stress and that your words were taken out of context. Please do not speak to any press or friends or family about this.”

“Why?” Niall rolled his eyes in frustration. “It’s all true. It came out wrong, yeah. But, I refuse to take it back.”

There was a long silence for the other end. Niall settled himself for a fight. He knew they wouldn’t give up easily, but neither would he. He was done pretending that Harry and Jamie meant nothing to him.

“I see... Well...I'm sorry Mr. Horan but that is unacceptable.” The voice said finally. “There is a no fraternization clause in your contract. You and your bandmates are not allowed to have relations within the group.”

“No fraternization clause?” Niall was furious. He decided it handle it the best way he know how, with a joke. He laughed it off. “You mean not being friends, no drinks at the pub?”

“Mr. Horan. Please don't be obtuse. We meant no romantic relations. It was written in before the five of you signed the last contract. We felt it necessary due to the ‘Larry Stylinson’ incidents.”

"You use fandom names, Mr. Halliway. I'm impressed.” Niall could play fire with fire. He smiled softly at the sounds of Jamie and Harry playing in the other room and reminded himself that he wouldn’t lose. “So what happens if I don't take back what I said? I go back to saying that all I'm being is a loyal mate and helping Harry with his son, nothing more? Date all the pretty beards you throw at me?”

“Well... We'll have to decide about that. We'll expect you tomorrow at the offices. 2 pm. Have a nice night.”

Niall hung up the phone and resisted the urge to throw it as hard as he could against the wall. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Jamie had had enough excitement tonight. He didn’t want to upset him more. He smiled brightly when he walked into the living room and saw the loves of life on the floor playing happily. His smile only grew as Jamie saw him and toddled happily towards him.

“Dadadadadadada!!” Jamie laughed and tried to climb Niall’s leg.

Niall laughed and picked him up, rubbing their noses together. “There’s our happy boy.” He saw Harry standing near and smiling the soft loving smile that Niall never got enough off.

“Everything okay?” Harry asked as he walked to them.

“Yeah. They want us at a meeting at 2pm tomorrow.” Niall nodded and lead them all towards the couch. He leaned over and kissed Harry softly. “Everything will be okay Harry.”

“Yeah... Okay. I know.” Harry took a deep breath and pulled him down onto the couch. He snuggled into Niall’s warmth. “We're together. They can't stop that.”

“Right love. No one will tear us apart.” He pulled Harry close. Jamie tucked into their heat.

A buzzing from Harry’s pocket broke them from their blissful little world. Harry laughed and pulled away to dig it out.

“It keeps going off…” He held it up. “It’s all our friends and family. I had to disable Twitter alerts on my phone. The boys keep calling and messaging as well.”

“Go ahead and answer it. I'm going to go put Jamie down for a nap.” Niall gave him a kiss and stood, lifting a very sleepy Jamie and headed up the stairs to the nursery.

Harry watched him go before calling Zayn. He was sure f Louis wasn’t already with Zayn, that Zayn would call him as soon as he hung up with Harry. It didn’t surprise him when Zayn answered on the first ring.

“Babe.” Came the familiar Bradford accent over the line. “What’s going on?”

“So… you’ve seen the video right?”

“Yeah Harry… are the three of you okay?” Harry could hear the concern in Zayn’s voice

“Yeah… Niall's putting Jamie down for a bit of a nap. But, Management is calling the two of us into a meeting tomorrow.” Harry let of a worried sigh. “I don't know what’s going to happen. Niall is still pretty angry.” Harry knew Niall was trying not to let either him or Jamie from seeing that, but Harry knew all of Niall’s tells.

“I bet. Niall never did like being told what to do...” Harry could hear the inhalation of Zayn smoking. He was probably smoking more than he should because he was worried about them. Zayn always worried about them.

“He won't tell me exactly what they said...” Harry told him. “But he's pretty angry. In a right strop. I can tell. So... I just wanted to warn you.”

“Thanks mate...” Zayn laughed softly. “No matter what, we're behind you.”

“Thanks Zayn.” Harry smiled. “Tell Louis I said good night, yeah?”

He could hear Zayn laughing as they hung up. Harry stood to his feet and made his way through their house, finding Niall with Jamie. He stopped in the doorway, watching Niall standing over a sleeping Jamie, stroking the hair from the baby’s forehead. He would never ever take Jamie from Niall. Harry knew he couldn’t do that. His heart swelled and he thought for a second it might burst with all the love inside him.

Niall seemed to sense him and turned to smile at him. He smiled gently and walked towards him, Nialls hand coming out to take Harry’s. He led Harry from the nursery and across the hall to his… _No. THEIR…_ bedroom. Harry threaded the fingers together. As they entered their bedroom, Niall turned and pulled Harry close to his chest.

“I love you.” He said simply, his blue eyes locking unto Harry’s green ones.

“I love you too Niall.” Harry slid his arms around Niall’s shoulders, holding him tight. “I love you so much.”

“Whatever happens ... we'll stay together.” Niall pressed soft kisses along the column of Harry’s neck. “No matter what.”

Harry’s fingers sliding into Niall’s hair, his body shivering against Niall’s. He could tell Niall was worried. He could feel it in how Niall held him a little tighter, more desperate. He needed to know. To be prepared.

“Niall… What did they say, bae?”

Niall sighed and let Harry go. He dropped down onto the edge of the bed, looking at him with sad eyes.

“They said we had signed contracts so what had happened before wouldn’t happen again...” He didn’t want to say anything about Harry and Louis. It was a dead subject. “They said we broke it.”

“Wait... didn't we read those..?” Harry frowned and sat beside him heavily, sighing. “No. We thought... it was the same contract as the one before. They said it was.”

“That’s what they wanted us to think apparently.”

“So... they could sue us... take everything.” Harry didn’t care about the money. He would give it all if that’s what it took.

“Yes...” Niall faced him and took his hand. “But I have a plan.”

“What plan?”

“What they did was illegal... and they messed with the wrong Irishman.” Niall smiled at harry.

“Niall...” Harry cupped his face. “We'll stop them. They can't force us like this. If we have to... we'll tell everyone about us. We’ll come out.”

“Right...” Niall swallowed and nodded.

“Wait...” Harry wanted Niall to _understand._ “No. I mean. I want to tell everyone. I'm not... I'm not ashamed of you. I’m so _proud_ of this. Of US.”

“I know you aren't.” Niall stroked his cheek, smiling. “That’s not why I'm upset. I just don’t want the five of us to have to break up... we have so much more to do together.”

“You think we couldn't find another management company?” Harry smiled and leaned in, settling his head on Niall’s shoulder.

“No...” Niall smiled and pressed a kiss to Harry’s hair. “We'll manage ourselves. Make our own company.”

“You want us to manage ourselves?” Harry lifted his head, surprised at Niall’s idea. He had no idea Niall had even thought about this.

“Yeah.” Niall answered. He lapsed into silence for a moment before confessing softly. “I’ve been studying management while I have time... Like classes and such. Here and there.”

Once again, Harry was surprised. “You never told me…”

“I didn't tell anyone... I didn't think anything of it.” Niall shrugged it off. “It was just something I was learning about. I mean… We can’t be pop stars forever. Well…” He grinned at Harry. “Maybe you can.”

“I think it's brilliant!” Harry grinned, squeezing Niall in a hug.

It was Niall’s turn to be surprised. “Really?” He hadn’t been expecting Harry to be so excited for him.

“Yeah...” Harry smiled and swung a long leg over to straddle Niall’s lap. “I really do.”

“We'll talk to the guys in the morning.” Niall smiled and cupped Harry’s face. “Have them come with us.”

“I'm not going to run away…” Harry turned slightly to press a loving kiss to Niall’s palm. “I promise.”

“Good. I won't let you.” Niall slid his fingers up into Harry’s curls, tugging him down into a long, slow kiss.  

Harry slid his hands up Niall’s chest, pushing his shirt off. He smiled down at him, his fingers stroking through the soft hairs on Niall’s chest. “Time for bed?”

Niall laughed softly, unbuttoning the few buttons left on Harry’s shirt. His calloused fingers caressed the skin along Harry’s hips. “Are we sleeping?”

Harry slid off his lap and pulled his clothes off. He pounced on the bed naked and gave him a cheeky smile. He laid back on the bed, arranging himself as an offering and smiled in invitation. “Do you want to sleep?”

“No way.” Niall moved over him. His mouth made its way up Harry’s belly and chest, kissing and nipping at the golden skin.  

“Good...” Harry groaned and slid a hand into Niall’s hair. His body arched into each hot touch. “I was hoping you'd choose me over sleep.”

“You never have to worry about that.” Niall nipped at his chin, lifting his head to stare intently into Harry’s eyes. “I will _always_ choose you.” He knew Harry would understand that this was more than about sex. That there would never be a situation where Niall chose anyone or anything over Harry

“Me too.” Harry shivered. The love swelled between them. He pulled Niall down, kissing him deeply. “I'd choose you too... every time.”

 

 

 


	13. We will find a way through the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Niall have a showdown, with a little help from their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter. I'm so sorry for the long time. Life got to me for a bit and things have not been at their best. But, it's a new year and life moves forward! This will be the last chapter. I will put up an epilogue at a later date, but it can be stand alone. I hope you all enjoy this and thank you all so much for sticking with us and for loving this fic as much as we did! I love you all!

Harry reached out and slid his fingers through Niall’s, making sure the crisis team would be able to see them whenever they walked into the conference room. He wasn’t going to give up Niall no matter what they said. He needed the comfort of his love and he wasn’t going to pretend that he wasn’t so very much in love with Niall. Not anymore.

“It’s going to be okay babe.” Niall spoke softly in his ear, his fingers tightening where they were laced with Harry’s fingers. He smiled softly at him. “As long as we stick together, we’ll be okay.”

Harry smiled and leaned in, brushing his lips over Niall’s quickly. “I know. I’m going anywhere.”

He really wasn’t. He was prepared to give up everything for Niall and Jamie. For their family. His family. He heard the door open and stiffened, his smile automatically dropping from his face as he watched the team of people file in. They all filed in slowly, stiff and quiet, speaking softly to one another but almost pretending Niall and Harry weren’t there. He knew this game. It unnerved him in the beginning. He remember how intimidated he felt the first time they drug him and Louis in here. They wanted to set Niall and Harry off-balance, to make them feel unimportant and make them wait in silence. He smirked and held his head high, almost laughing when the head honcho almost snarled at him.

“So you two know why you are and why we are addressing this situation now.” The man made every effort to calm himself and relax back in his seat at the head of the table, trying to regain control.

“Frankly,” Niall said calmly and unafraid. “I don’t see why you even think this is a ‘situation’.”

“Niall…” Came the reply from the boss, his tone sounding as if he were placating a child. Harry immediately wanted to fly across the table, but Niall hand squeezed, calming him down.

“You know that it’s important for you boys to be seen as ‘available’.” He continued with a condescending smile in their direction. “You can’t do that if you are gay. But, thankfully, we’ve thought of a way that you boys can continue your little affair and we can keep your image the way it needs to be.”

“Oh? And how is that?” Niall sent back, just as condescending and rude. Both Harry and Niall were pleased to see the boss finally lose his patience.

“Let’s be clear then.” The man bit out with narrowed, angry eyes. “You and Harry will spend time apart. Harry will go to Los Angeles. You will go home to Ireland and BE SEEN doing whatever it is you do. Harry will get his Winter Girlfriend and you can be as drunk and merry as often as you want.”

Niall felt like punching him in the face, but he kept a reign on it, feeling that Harry needed him right now. He could feel the trembling in the body beside him. He knew Harry was about to get very angry and Harry didn’t get angry very often. It wasn’t ever very pretty when he did. Instead he just smiled and shook his head as he gave his definitive answer.

“Thanks, but I'm past getting drunk. I have to be a good example for my son.”

He didn’t expect the harsh bark of laughter from the man. “He’s not your son. You should stop calling him that.”

It was those words that finally made Harry snap. He jumped to his feet and leaned over the table, snarling and ferocious in his fury. He slammed his fist onto the table, knuckles crack hard against the wood, but he didn’t even flinch as he stared down at the team with furious eyes.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!” He shouted forcibly. “YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!!”

Niall jumped up right behind him, but instead of screaming and throwing punches of his own, Niall pressed into Harry’s side, sliding a hand along his waist. He first thought was to calm harry down before he hurt himself again.

“Harry… It’s okay.” He spoke softly into Harry’s ear, fingers caressing his side soothingly. “Calm down love.”

Harry was too angry now. He slammed his fist down again, the skin over his knuckles splitting, but Harry didn’t feel in. He ripped away and snarled at the look of surprise and fear in some of the eyes around him.

“THAT'S BULLSHIT NIALL!” He turned back to the team, pointing a finger, blood dripping unnoticed from his hand. “FUCK THEM! I QUIT! I FUCKING QUIT! I WON'T KEEP BEING USED LIKE A FUCKING TOY! THEY KEEP DOING THIS! THEY KEEP USING ME UP AND I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT ANYMORE!”

Niall felt so helpless to help Harry and felt seconds from losing his own calm. Then he heard the door open and a voice interrupt them. He felt a wave of relief and joy come over him then.

“Wow!” Came Zayn’s dulcet tones from the doorway. Niall’s relief at he and Harry no longer fighting this alone was almost enough to bring him to his knees. “What the hell did we miss that’s got baby boy screaming like that?”

Louis threw open the door next further and stalked in. They had been listening outside, unsure if they should interrupt, but he would never let Harry scream like that.

“Sorry to interrupt, lads.” If Louis was good at one thing, it was saying a big fuck you to people with a cheerful smile on his face. “But, I’m pretty damn sure there should be no reason you would need to pull Niall and Harry in here… WITHOUT us.”

With those words of censure, Louis threw himself into the seat besides Harry’s glaring at the management team, Liam and Zayn right behind him. They were fucking family and family faced these things together.

“Niall...,” Liam walked over, putting a hand on Harry’s back, speaking low. “Get him to the bathroom and calm him down for a sec, okay? We'll handle this until you can get back. Harry... mate... No one is going anywhere. Go with Niall.”

Niall nodded, he trusted them to have their best interests at heart. He wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist, still feeling the tension and coiled fury within his lover. “Come on Love.”

“No!” Harry felt the desperation kick in a bit. “Niall! You ARE Jamie’s Dad! You know that? Right?!”

Niall nodded, eager to calm him and tell him that knew. He would always know that. But, it was Louis at got through to him. Louis got up and stood in front of Harry, cupping his face.

“Harry. Go. You're bleeding all over.” Lou smiled at his friend, looking him in the eye, speaking softly and earnestly.  “Believe me Harry. I'm not going to let them do this again. Trust me. This time I won't fail.”

 Harry took a deep breath and let it out shakily, nodding to Louis. “Yeah. Okay. I'll go.” He let Niall lead him out of the conference room and out to the bathroom. 

Zayn waited until his friend were settled before grinning at the suits, kicking his feet up unto the desk. “You boys are in some deep shit.”

The boss cleared his throat, trying to regain control, not sure exactly when he had lost it all. “I find that hard to believe.”

“You. Shut. Up.” Came the lightning fast response from Louis, punctuated by flashing blue eyes and a finger pointing viciously at him. Liam thought that Louis might put out the man eyes if he were closer. 

One of the other board members spoke up, a little nervous and unsure where everything had went wrong. “We can't do that... they are in breach of contract.”

Zayn snorted and shrugged at him. But, it was Liam that answered. “Which I believe you lied about what was in said contract.”

There was a flurry of flushing and frantic looks to one another from the management team. “You are never denied the right to read your contract. You can't blame us for your lack of foresight.”

“You misled us and we are willing to go to court for it.” Liam said firmly. He wasn’t going to be Mr. Nice Guy this time. “You won't force us to do this. As a matter of fact, we have written statements and have them prepared to be sent to every major news source... in the world.” He just smiled his sweet smile and sat down beside Zayn.

“Yes... Especially how you leaked the video of Zayn and I smoking that joint.” Louis said, still standing and leaning over the table. “Was that because Zayn was going to "break up" with Perrie?”

“Which, by the way, I am.” Stated Zayn simply.

Louis stood his ground and stared intently at the enemy. He knew he was rarely serious. But, he couldn’t let this continue.

“I went along with this last time,” He spoke firmly. “Because I was young and scared and I wanted to do well. But, I won’t do it this time. I won’t let you keep forcing us into a mold we aren’t suited for.”

“If we lose fans because they can’t accept who we are,” Liam interjected, being quick to show his support. “Then we will miss them, but ultimately, we deserve to be happy too.”

Whatever reaction they had been expecting, it wasn’t derisive laughter that greeted their statements. Liam was surprised that the suits snorted in angry amusement.

“Happy?!” Laughed one of the women. “You hear that? They think they deserve to be happy!” She tittered as if this were a joke. The man spearheading this little intervention sat back and laughed with her.

“You aren't children. Stop acting like it.” He sat forward, all traces of amusement gone as he glared at Liam, Zayn and Louis. “You've been given the fame and fortunes you wanted and now you're crying about the games you have to play to keep them? That's life, lads. You know that. I don't care who you fuck... but if you want to keep your jobs, you will do it quietly and pretend to like pussy. Got it?”

“Well…” Louis was the first to recover. “That's sufficiently disgusting.” He glared at them. “I'll just deliver this letter then and my lawyers will be in contact with you.”

The sudden shouting and noise of argument rose in the room, only to be interrupted by the door and a calm voice speaking.

“That’s quite enough of that Charles.” Simon Cowell walked into the room, followed by a much calmer Harry and Niall.   
  
Charles, the previous man in charge stood, frowning at Simon. “Simon. I don't know what you are doing here, but you weren't invited. These boys are our clients. There is no need to involve yourself.”

“Not if we quit, we aren’t.” Replied Louis quickly.

“Louis.” Simon said simply before looking at Charles. “Need I remind you who gave them to you as clients?”

“Simon…” Charles sputtered, obviously having difficulties. “This is ridiculous. You know they can't be allowed to ruin themselves this way. It's bad business.”

Simon shook his head, taking a seat beside the boys. “At this point the damage is already done if there is any. The reviews to their interview have been positive.”

“That's not entirely true.” Charles answered smugly, sitting back in his own seat. His smug look disappeared as a member of his own team cleared her throat for attention. He turned a fierce glare on her. “Yes, Ana? Is there something you want to say?”

“Sorry sir...” Came the reply from a young woman on the end. Liam had noticed that she had been quiet throughout the entire proceedings, but now she sat up straight and looked right back at her boss. “But I've been monitoring the social media sites and much like the weed video, there has been some backlash, but most of the chatter has been positive. The only negative comments are directed at other fans for not being loyal or for believing in the wrong "ship". It's a little crazy, but mostly... everyone is happy if Harry and Niall are happy.”

“Is that so?” Charles glared at the girl, speaking low and dangerously.

“Yes sir.” She knew she was fired by this point, but felt that this is what she should do. “Also... You hired me to monitor social media and that what I was doing sir. If you try to force them back into the closet, you run the risk of hurting our image more than theirs.”

Simon nodded his head with a smile. “Well put.”

“Thank you sir.” She flushed and relaxed slightly in relief.

Charles frowned in discontentment. He turned to look at Niall and Harry. “What exactly are you asking for?”

“I speak for all of us, mate.” Liam spoke quietly to Niall and Harry. “Whatever it is you want. We’re behind you. Totally.”

Niall grinned and stood, leaning over the table. “We want out of this contract and allowed to manage ourselves with Simon’s help and input when needed.”

Harry, who had been silent since his earlier outburst spoke into the stunned silence. “I won’t stay here. I refuse.”

Charles rose and slammed a furious hand down on the table. “You whiny little shits! After all we’ve done for you, you stab us in the back!”

With visible difficulty, he straightened and calmed himself. “Fine. You have the option to buy out your contracts. I’ll have the details sent to your lawyers.” With those words, he stalked out, taking most of the team with him, knowing they had won.

“Are you sure about this boys?” Simon asked, standing as well.

Niall nodded. “You’ve always had our best intentions as heart Simon. It’s you or no one. Right mates?”

Louis was quick to agree. “Yeah. But, honestly, Simon, we'd like to learn how to do this ourselves. I bet Liam and Niall would make GREAT managers.”

“It’s something I'm thinking of doing someday actually.” Niall smiled, reaching for Harry’s unhurt hand, their fingers sliding together naturally.

Simon watched them quietly, thinking about things as he leaves with promises to be in touch with details

Harry slid into Niall’s arms as soon as everyone except the band had left, pressing in close. “I think I broke my hand…”

Niall took his injured hand carefully and brushed his lips over the broke skin. “We’ll stop by the hospital, love.”

“Sorry…” Harry sighed into Niall’s neck. “I just got really angry.”

“I know. I was too.” Niall dropped a kiss behind his ear. “We won though, yeah?”

“Let's get out of here lads…” Liam hated to interrupt them, but really wanted to leave this place. “I think they might try to have security escort us out otherwise.”

Niall chuckled and slid his fingers through Harry’s hair. “Sounds good. Let’s go.”

“Let's get Harry fixed up, grab lunch to go, and go spoil that nephew of ours.” Zayn said as he stood and stretched.

Harry nodded, but everyone could tell he was still upset and angry. “I need to make a call first… okay? I’ll meet you at the car.” He leaned in and kissed Niall softly then walked out quickly, leaving them behind.

“Well...,” Liam laughed a little, trying to lighten the sudden bummed mood. “That's Harry for you. Broody bastard.” 

Niall tore his eyes away from Harry’s retreating figure and shrugged with a rueful smile. “He’ll be okay. It’s been a terrible day for all of us.”

“Liam… you are terrible at this.” Louis laughed and slung an arm around Niall’s shoulders. “Come on. He'll be fine in a mo. He just needs to yell at Gem or Anne. Let's go to Nando's for lunch?”

“Yeah.” Zayn agreed with Louis quickly. “Nando's always cheers us up.” He slipped his arm through Liam’s and walked out with him.

Harry was already in the car, talking quietly on the phone, then making his goodbyes and hanging up as they climbed in. Niall could tell that he was in pain and trying to hide it, his usually golden skin was pale and damp.

“I don't think it's broken... but it's sore.” He said to them as they settled in the car.

Zayn patted his knee. “We’ll get it checked out right now, bro.”

Harry nodded wearily and leaned into Niall, letting it all go.

Louis looked around at them all and took a deep breath. “So… we’re doing this then?”

Niall nodded and wrapped his arm around Harry. “Yeah. We are.”

Louis laughed and sat back. “Good. I'm glad. I hate those fuckers anyway.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was hours later when Niall and Harry let themselves back into their house. Harry was glad Jamie was staying the night with Lou Teasdale and Lux. He was so very tired from their day. His hand was wrapped tightly, luckily unbroken, but dislocated knuckles needed to rest.

Niall followed him with the little bag of pain meds, reading the instructions.

“It says you should drink milk before taking this. And no drinking alcohol.”

“Hmm... It's okay for now.” Harry smiled softly at him. “I'm still a little loopy from the one they gave me at the clinic.”

He sat on the couch, and patted the seat beside him. “Come here.

Niall smiled and put the bag down, dropping onto the seat beside him. “Are you okay? About earlier?”

“Yeah... I just...” Harry took a deep breath, his emotions clogging his throat again. “I don't want anyone to ever say that to you. You have the right to be Jamie's father.”

“I know that and you know that Babe. Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks?” Niall took Harry’s good hand in his own.

“It's not that Niall... what if something happens to me? What's going to happen to Jamie then?” Harry needed to talk about all the things that have been circling in his head for ages now.

Niall took a deep breath and turned towards him. “Harry… you think I don’t worry about this stuff too? I do. I’ve been thinking about. I think about it all the time.” Niall took another deep breath, taking the time to think about his next words. “I was going to ask when we had been together for a while... but how would you feel if I wanted to adopt Jamie?”

Harry stared at Niall for the longest time. Niall started to think he had went too far, and opened his mouth to apologize when Harry burst out in laughter. He had no idea what to say and he was sure he was looking at Harry like he had grown a second head.

“You idiot...” Harry grinned at him. “What do you think I was getting at? I had my lawyers working on it...I was going to give you the papers for your birthday, but I was just so furious today. I called them to speed them up. They will deliver them in a few days.”

Niall felt punched in the gut and laughed with him. He pulled Harry close. “I love you Harry Edward Styles. I don't think you know how much.”

“I hope as much as I love you... because I don't more is possible.” Harry gave him a slow smile, the kind he reserved only for Niall.

Niall cupped his face and kissed that beautiful smile. “We have forever to find out…”

“I love you Niall...” Harry said between soft, loving kisses. “I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I do.”

Niall knew it was the moment. It wouldn’t come again like this. “Then marry me.” He said simply, pulling back to look at Harry, smiling softly.

Harry flushed and pulled back enough to see him completely. “What?”

“I want you to marry me. I want the whole thing with you Harry.” Niall never wavered. He had never been so damn sure of anything in his life before this.

Harry groaned and threw himself forward, climbing into Niall’s lap and kissing him fiercely. “Fuck! Yes! Christ... Niall... yeah... love you... want to marry you...”

Niall fell back onto the couch, laughing and kissing Harry back.

Harry beamed down at him. “I love you, Irish.”

Niall laughed. “I love you too, Haz.”

Harry melted over him, and laughed softly. He pressed kisses along Niall’s neck and face. “We’re getting married.”

Niall slid his fingers through Harry’s hair, and nuzzled behind his ear. “yeah… We are.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who read this and commented, left kudos, or just came and read it. Thank you. I know it slowed down a lot and you all patiently waited for it. It's been a long time in working and I really appreciate all the love you've given to us! We both do! There are have been several of you who have commented and stuck with us. You mean so much to us! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> If there is any coincidences between this and any other story out there, I apologize. I honestly don't read all the fanfictions out there. I just love kid fics, so this one is mine. I should have the next chapter up within the week, but I won't give a firm date, in case I miss it. Thanks for reading!
> 
> ~Aichan


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